Stephanie Hodge: Jennie Malloy

Quotes 

• Tiffany Malloy : [Mom has appeared in school cafeteria, big embarrassment]  What are you doing here?

  Jennie Malloy : I read in the school paper they're casting 'Romeo and Juliet.' I want you to try out for the part of Juliet. Did I ever tell you I tried out for Juliet once my sophomore year?

  Tiffany Malloy : No, but I'm afraid you're going to... Goodbye!

  [tries rushing off] 

  Jennie Malloy : I lost the part to Charlene Tilton.

  [hissing:] 

  Jennie Malloy : She was nothing! Blond, petite. Petite? You know what petite means? It means there is no place for the weight to go. If I got that part of Juliet, I'd be a star today, then I'd be doing infomercials when I was washed up. Nothing cheesy going like that belly-buster, no, something classy like that thing that cuts your hair with a vacuum.

• Jennie Malloy : The part went to Charlene Tilton. She was nothing! Blonde, petite. Petite! You know what petite means? It means there's no place for the weight to go. If I did that play, I'd be a star today. And I'd be doing infomercials when I was washed up. Nothing cheesy though like that Bellybuster, no...! Something classy like that thing that cuts your hair with a vacuum.

• Maureen Slattery : [at school, in front of all the children]  Jennifer! Where is my enema bag?

  Jennie Malloy : [annoyed and dismayed]  It's in the hall closet!

  Maureen Slattery : Oh, right next to yours?

• Jennie Malloy : [to her stage actress daughter]  We're gonna be inseparable, Gypsy, I mean Tiffany. I'm gonna help you be the Juliet I could have been. I'm never leaving your side. Never ever!

  [Tiffany looks aghast at the prospect] 

  Jennie Malloy : We're gonna be closer than Brooke Shields and her mom!

• Tiffany Malloy : [stage repetition]  "Oh, Romeo, Romeo! Wherefore art thou Romeo? Deny thy father and refuse thy name." Oh, come on, what a cliche!

  [clears throat] 

  Tiffany Malloy : "Oh, Romeo, Romeo...!"

  Jennie Malloy : Cut! Honey, you must emote.

  Tiffany Malloy : Emote? What do you mean, Mom?

  Jennie Malloy : What I mean is suck it in, stick 'em out, and speak loud!

• Jennie Malloy : Tiffany, I'm sorry I locked you in the bathroom.

  Tiffany Malloy : Oh, that's all right. I'm sorry I love Daddy more than you.