Two and a Half Men (TV Series)

Woo-Hoo, a Hernia-Exam! (2005)

Conchata Ferrell: Berta

Quotes 

• Charlie Harper : [Charlie's in great pain after throwing his back out, and initially asks Alan to help him]  New plan. I need someone who can give me drugs.

  Berta : I'm not holding, but I can make a couple calls.

  Alan Harper : Drugs just mask the problem.

  Charlie Harper : Fine! Mask it, throw a cape on it, let it fight crime... I just want it to go away!