Two and a Half Men (TV Series)

That Special Tug (2006)

Jon Cryer: Alan Harper

Quotes 

• Alan : I'm confused. Is she a mountain or a fish?

  Charlie : Doesn't matter. Either way, I'm gonna scale her.

  [exit] 

  Alan : And you! Why do you enable this behavior?

  Berta : Why? I'll tell you why. Because your brother is the embodiment of the can-do, roll-up-your-sleeves spirit that made this country great. He never gets discouraged, he goes after what he wants, and he doesn't know the meaning of the word "quit". When any man, no matter how humble, can't go out there and soil the loins of some hot little dancer, well, I don't want to live in that America.

  Berta : [Exits singing]  Oh, beautiful, for spacious skies, for amber waves of grain...