Two and a Half Men (TV Series)

That Special Tug (2006)

Charlie Sheen: Charlie Harper

Quotes 

• Dr. Linda Freeman : Father?

  Charlie : Dead.

  Dr. Linda Freeman : Mother?

  Charlie : Killed him.

  Dr. Linda Freeman : Would you like to discuss that?

  Charlie : We just did.

• Alan : I'm confused. Is she a mountain or a fish?

  Charlie : Doesn't matter. Either way, I'm gonna scale her.

  [exit] 

  Alan : And you! Why do you enable this behavior?

  Berta : Why? I'll tell you why. Because your brother is the embodiment of the can-do, roll-up-your-sleeves spirit that made this country great. He never gets discouraged, he goes after what he wants, and he doesn't know the meaning of the word "quit". When any man, no matter how humble, can't go out there and soil the loins of some hot little dancer, well, I don't want to live in that America.

  Berta : [Exits singing]  Oh, beautiful, for spacious skies, for amber waves of grain...

• Charlie : Just because I took him in doesn't mean I have to listen to him.

  Dr. Linda Freeman : I understand.

  Charlie : He just whines about the same crap over and over.

  Dr. Linda Freeman : Okay.

  Charlie : It's not even interesting crap. It's the crap that bores the crap out of crap.

  Dr. Linda Freeman : I got it. It's crap. Go ahead.

  Charlie : Thank you.