- Adam Cunningham: Where the hell's Jack?
- Sally Ross: You ever had a father, Adam?
- Adam Cunningham: Several.
- Dirk Honing: Well, I own some land outside the city. Very attractive land. And I want to build a sanctuary on that land. A UFO sanctuary. Complete with a landing pod, and both sound and light tractor beams to alert the extra-terrestrials as to the sanctuary's existence.
- Donald D'Arby: Hunh. Well, um. we do have some real estate deals under our belts. This should be, uh...
- Jack Larkin: Donald. How about a word? Outside.
- Monika Barnes: So now your job depends on how many Martian bus tours you can attract to the metro region.
- [Grant wants to know if management is planning layoffs]
- Sally Ross: Grant, don't worry about that. There are no plans to eliminate your derivatives department.
- Grant Jansky: Well, that's not really fair, is it? I mean, my record alone should entitle me to at least equal consideration, if not better. In fact, I would like to request, in light of my superlative achievements within the confines of this corporate entity, that I be first to get laid off.
- Sally Ross: Grant, I'm sorry. We can't accept your request.
- Grant Jansky: Rats.
- Adam Cunningham: Why don't you just go back to work?
- Jack Larkin: Before they assign you for life.
- Adam Cunningham: [shuts the door after him] Honestly, the things you have to do to nurture a profit centre.
- Termination Counsellor: The loss of a job can be a profoundly distressing event, not dissimilar to the loss of a loved one. We advise our subjects to set aside a half an hour every day for grieving.
- Marty Stephens: All in favour of firing this idiot?
- [They all put their hands up]
- Marty Stephens: All opposed? Aw, your favourite mug's in the mail.
- Chris Todson: Basic rules of the game, Jimmy Boy. Buy on rumour, sell on fact. I needed a good rumour.
- Jim Swan: Planting one?
- Chris Todson: Why, you don't think a wire service would go to press without checking their sources, do you?
- Grant Jansky: You made me realize that all I have to do to lose my job is lose money. So, I set my computer on autopilot, and I bet I'm down a million bucks by now.
- [They check the screen]
- Ayn Krywarik: Isn't that going up?
- Grant Jansky: I'm gonna be here forever.
- Grant Jansky: All male, between the ages of 70 and 75, filthy rich, and today they ate lunch at the Toronto Club.
- Ayn Krywarik: What, you can tell all that from this?
- Grant Jansky: Yes. And because I had lunch at the Toronto Club.
- Dirk Honing: We are talking about receiving dignitaries on their first official visit to Earth! Did Eisenhower receive Kruschkev at a theme park? Did Reagan receive Gorbachev at a theme park?
- Donald D'Arby: Yeah, actually. Yes, he did.
- Donald D'Arby: I have to be able to stand on my own two feet, though, don't I?
- Jack Larkin: That's pretty tough if somebody's sawing your legs off at the knees.
- Adam Cunningham: Oh, Larkin. You definitely need housetraining. You do recall who has the swing vote?
- Jack Larkin: You're not voting for Donald to go.
- Adam Cunningham: Oh, really.
- Jack Larkin: Donald D'Arby's gay.
- Adam Cunningham: What universe do you live in, Jack? People get fired every day for being gay.
- Jack Larkin: People get sued for firing people because they're gay.
- Adam Cunningham: [He reconsiders] Donald D'Arby?
- Grant Jansky: And so, if you just configure the coupling device according to the Blaine protocol, you can do Tribulons *and* Martusials, and with the Shatsky equations the tractor beams will be compatible with *five* of the seven known intergalactic fleets. And believe me, you don't want to be docking the other two.
- Dirk Honing: You know, I can't tell you how thrilled I am to talk with you about these things. You have been a tremendous help. And anytime you need a job, just give me a call.
- Grant Jansky: Thanks, but I already have a job. That I don't want.
- Jack Larkin: No, you were right. We didn't believe in your deal and we pitched you anyway.
- [Dirk looks intensely at Jack]
- Dirk Honing: You've recently suffered a loss. And I sense that you took my project for the sake of your associate. I admire your humanity.
- Jack Larkin: Thank you.