- Chrissy Snow: He's never dated a girl who's wrote a book.
- Janet Wood: Chrissy, he's never dated a girl who's read a book.
- Jack Tripper: She's writing a book on it. She's an authority on ancient peoples.
- Chrissy Snow: Oh, that's nice. She works with senior citizens.
- Jack Tripper: You're an archeologist?
- Barbara: Yes.
- Jack Tripper: Are you digging anything now?
- Barbara: Yes. You.
- Chrissy Snow: [re archeologist woman friend] Where'd you dig her up?
- [snorts with laughter]
- Larry Dallas: What are you gonna do, jump on her bones?
- Jack Tripper: [considered lucky to live with two girls] Oh, yeah, I'm also there for protection.
- Barbara: Oh, what are you afraid of?
- Barbara: Would you cook for me sometime?
- Jack Tripper: Oh, I'd love to cook with you. I mean, cook for you.
- Jack Tripper: Oh boy, I feel terrific! It's amazing what a shower can do for you. I feel years younger!
- Chrissy Snow: I wouldn't take too many of them.
- Chrissy Snow: [to Martha] You know, if you knew what Jack was gonna do to you, you wouldn't be doing what you are doing now.