- [first lines]
- Chrissy Snow: [on phone] No, Ralph, I'm busy tomorrow. No, I'm busy next week too. Yes, sure,
- [nods]
- Chrissy Snow: if I ever need more wrestling lessons, I'll be glad to go out with you. Yeah. Okay. Yes. Bye.
- [cradles receiver]
- Chrissy Snow: Oh, don't you just hate it when men try to manhandle you?
- Helen Roper: [with pointed look at her husband] I don't remember.
- Chrissy Snow: [Mr. Roper gets the light to go on] Oh, you fixed it! What was wrong?
- Stanley Roper: It was a short. You know, you people are so careless. You should never bend an electrical cord,
- [demonstrates]
- Stanley Roper: otherwise...
- [the wire zaps him, Chrissy and Mrs. Roper yell out]
- Stanley Roper: Oh!
- Jack Tripper: [comes running out of the bathroom, only a towel around his hips] What happened?
- Helen Roper: Stanley was showing us how *not* to get a shock.
- Stanley Roper: [to Jack] Will you put some clothes on? My wife's here.
- Helen Roper: [eyes sweeping up and down over Jack] Mind your own business, Stanley.
- Stanley Roper: What if the towel slips?
- Helen Roper: Mind your own business, Stanley.
- [still eyes Jack up and down]
- Chrissy Snow: Jack, there's some shaving cream on your face.
- Jack Tripper: Oh.
- [bends forward to wipe it off with the towel, and almost...]
- Chrissy Snow: No, Jack!
- Helen Roper: Mind your own business, Chrissy!
- Jack Tripper: [wipes the shaving cream off his face] Ah, excuse me.
- [heads back to bathroom]
- Stanley Roper: Does he always walk around like that in front of you girls?
- Chrissy Snow: No,
- [shakes her head]
- Chrissy Snow: only after he takes a shower.
- Stanley Roper: Do you walk around like that in front of him?
- Chrissy Snow: Of course not! I wear my towel up to here!
- Stanley Roper: [to Helen] I don't understand those kids. Whatever happened to good old-fashioned modesty?
- Helen Roper: It's living with us, Stanley.
- Jack Tripper: [as Janet gets pre-date jitters] What's wrong with her?
- Chrissy Snow: Oh, you know, it's getting close to kick-off time, and she's worried.
- Jack Tripper: Our Janet, the original Miss Cool? Oh, come on, Janet, he's just a guy, he's not the Second Coming of Mick Jagger.
- Janet Wood: Jack, why would he wanna date me?
- Jack Tripper: [surprised] Why would he wanna date you? Why would he wanna date-? I... Chrissy, did you ever hear such a stupid question?
- Chrissy Snow: Yes, last week at the office my boss asked me if I...
- Jack Tripper: Chrissy, don't help me!
- Jack Tripper: Chrissy, you can't just tell me you don't like the guy. You gotta give me a reason.
- Chrissy Snow: I don't trust him. I've got this feeling.
- Jack Tripper: Feeling is not a reason.
- Chrissy Snow: Yes, it is. It's gotta be a reason. Otherwise why would I feel this way?
- Jack Tripper: All right, Chrissy, when did you first get this feeling?
- Chrissy Snow: Reason!
- Jack Tripper: Reason, feeling, what's the difference?
- Chrissy Snow: That's what I say. You were the one who said they weren't the same.
- Jack Tripper: Chrissy...
- [his hand on her shoulder]
- Jack Tripper: what I mean is: Do you have any proof?
- Chrissy Snow: Yes. I didn't like what he said.
- Jack Tripper: [frowns] What did he say?
- Chrissy Snow: He said "I'm very pleased to meet you."
- Jack Tripper: And?
- Chrissy Snow: That's it.
- Jack Tripper: What's wrong with saying "I'm very pleased to meet you"?
- Chrissy Snow: [tuts, sighs] It's so simple. When he said "I'm very pleased" that wasn't just a plain "very", you know.
- Jack Tripper: Huh?
- Chrissy Snow: There are verys, and there are verys, and his "very" was very, very strange.
- Jack Tripper: What?
- Chrissy Snow: Especially when you put it together with a double squeeze.
- Jack Tripper: Oh, right.
- [drops his head onto the table, then looks up again:]
- Jack Tripper: What's a double squeeze?
- Chrissy Snow: [sighs] I'll show you. Okay, you be me, and I'll be Peter, okay?
- Jack Tripper: Oh, wait. I'm you? Okay.
- [assumes totally moronic expression, mocking her until she whacks him on the shoulder]
- Jack Tripper: What do you want me to do?
- [she's still mad at him]
- Jack Tripper: What do you want me to do?
- Chrissy Snow: Give me your hand.
- [she takes his hand in her right, and with her left, holds him by his elbow]
- Chrissy Snow: I'm very pleased to meet you.
- [squeezes Jack's elbow]
- Jack Tripper: He just squeezed your elbow when he said "very"? What's wrong with that?
- Chrissy Snow: [eyes wide] That squeeze had a question mark on it!
- Jack Tripper: [puzzled] A question...?
- Chrissy Snow: Yes! "How about you and me getting it on, baby?"
- Jack Tripper: Oh, come on, Chrissy, I... I can't...
- Chrissy Snow: It was! It was!