Three's Company (TV Series)

Chrissy's Night Out (1977)

Suzanne Somers: Chrissy Snow

Quotes 

• Jack Tripper : [Chrissy finally got back]  Chrissy!

  Janet Wood : Chrissy!

  Jack Tripper : You're safe!

  Janet Wood : Oh, honey, you're home!

  [they hug her, but then Janet glances at her watch] 

  Janet Wood : Where have you been?

  Jack Tripper : Do you have any idea what time it is?

  Janet Wood : [wagging her finger]  You should have been home hours ago.

  Chrissy Snow : Well, I...

  Jack Tripper : Haven't you ever heard of a telephone?

  Janet Wood : Boy, I hope you're satisfied, coming in at this hour.

  Jack Tripper : [spins Chrissy around to face him]  Janet and I were worried sick about you.

  Janet Wood : [spins Chrissy around to face her]  Yeah, you could have been raped or mugged or killed.

  Jack Tripper : Don't you have any consideration for us?

  Chrissy Snow : [yells]  Stop it!

  Janet Wood : Listen...

  Chrissy Snow : Stop it! One of the reasons I left home was because no one thought I was old enough to take care of myself. Let me tell you something: *I am old enough!* And I *really* resent the two of you playing mother and father and treating me like a child!

  [storms off to the kitchen, throwing her handbag down] 

• Janet Wood : Oh, Chrissy, I'm sorry. Hey, you have every right in the world to be mad at us, but please don't cry.

  Chrissy Snow : I'm not crying about that.

  Janet Wood : Oh, good. Well, whatever it is, how bad can it be?

  [Chrissy bursts out crying again] 

  Janet Wood : That bad, huh?

  Chrissy Snow : Oh, if this ever gets out. If my mother ever finds out...

  [her hands cover her eyes to stem the tears] 

  Chrissy Snow : Oh, if my father ever finds out!

  Janet Wood : You think I'll ever find out? Come on...

  Chrissy Snow : Well... I went with the girls from the office to this bar, the Funky Fox, and... there was a band... and a lot of guys, not many girls. The... tables... oh, the tables had these... tablecloths with tartan designs all over them.

  [Janet looks understandably impatient] 

  Chrissy Snow : It reminded me so much of home, because my father sent away to one of those firms that trace your family roots.

  [to exasperated Janet:] 

  Chrissy Snow : They do that for white people too, you know. And they said that our ancestors were Scottish, so... we had to have everything in tartan... tartan tablecloths, tartan towels, tartan skirts... I even had to...

  Janet Wood : Tell me what happened!

  Chrissy Snow : Well, I met this guy... He was really cute. Good dancer, very sincere, we talked for hours.

  [chuckles] 

  Janet Wood : Oh, it sounds like you had a wonderful date.

  Chrissy Snow : He was a creep!

  [tearfully remembers:] 

  Chrissy Snow : He had the cutest eyes just like Robert Redford, and a dog with black and brown spots...

  Janet Wood : He had a dog in the club?

  Chrissy Snow : [whines]  No, in his home town of Pine Bluff, Arkansas. Pine Bluff is the fourth largest city in Arkansas.

  Janet Wood : Chrissy!

  Chrissy Snow : I have a cousin there named... Paul.

  [starts crying again] 

  Janet Wood : Chrissy! Then why are you crying?

  Chrissy Snow : Well, I gave him my name and number, and...

  [sniffles] 

  Chrissy Snow : and he asked me...

  [sobs] 

  Chrissy Snow : he asked me...

  Janet Wood : He asked you out?

  Chrissy Snow : No...!

  [sobs bitterly] 

  Chrissy Snow : He asked me... how much I...

  [sobs] 

  Chrissy Snow : how much I...

  Janet Wood : How much you liked him?

  Chrissy Snow : No!

  [covers her ears] 

  Chrissy Snow : He thought I was a hoo... a... a... hoo... a... hoo...

  [repeats that sound through blubbering tears] 

  Janet Wood : A hooker?

  [Chrissy is so upset that when she finally manages the last syllable, she keeps echoing it] 

  Jack Tripper : [from the living room]  What's going on in there?

  Janet Wood : Nothing!

  Chrissy Snow : Oh, oh, don't tell Jack...

  Janet Wood : No, no...

  Jack Tripper : Is everything all right?

  Janet Wood : Yes.

  Chrissy Snow : [through those tears, with a fake smile plastered onto her face]  It's great. Just great.

  Jack Tripper : Oh, good, because I thought I heard some crying.

  Chrissy Snow : No, I was just laughing.

  [facial expression imitates laughter, but she's still crying] 

  Janet Wood : Everything's all right now, Jack.

  Jack Tripper : Chrissy, where did you go tonight?

  Janet Wood : She went to the Funky Fox.

  Jack Tripper : The Funky Fox? You shouldn't go there. People will think you're a hooker.

  Chrissy Snow : Aagh!

  [breaks down uncontrollably] 

  Jack Tripper : Somebody took you for a hooker?

  Chrissy Snow : Oh, I feel so cheap.

  Jack Tripper : Cheap? That's one thing those girls are not!

  [Janet slaps his arm indignantly] 

  Jack Tripper : I... I heard about it from some guys.

  Chrissy Snow : [still sobbing]  Just because I was friendly, how could a guy think that I was a hoo...

  Jack Tripper : Oh, Chrissy...

• Detective Lannigan : [changing his tune when learning Chrissy lives with Jack and Janet]  Look, on second thought, why don't we just forget about the Italian restaurant, have dinner at my place, you know what I mean?

  Chrissy Snow : Yeah, I know what you mean. You're really some kinda guy, aren't you?

  Detective Lannigan : [shrugs]  Yeah.

  Chrissy Snow : When we met, you thought I was a certain kind of person because I was in a certain kind of place. And then you thought I was another kind of person because I was in another kind of place. Well, when I met you, I thought you were a creep! But when you didn't arrest my friend, I thought you were a nice guy. But you know what?

  Detective Lannigan : What?

  Chrissy Snow : [pokes his arm with her finger]  The creep just crept back! So why don't you keep on creeping out of here!