- Officer Vince Romano: [Hooker walks towards the car with a cup of coffee] You know what that poison is doing to your system? It's gonna kill you.
- Sgt. T.J. Hooker: Romano, Grandpa Hooker downed a gallon of coffee a day and made it to 94.
- Officer Vince Romano: [Pouring a concoction into a cup] Try this. All I'm asking is try it. It's delicious! Just a little raw eggs, Romanian yogurt, crushed papaya, lecithin, mango juice. Secret of my success... and my virility.
- [wiggles eyebrows rakishly]
- Sgt. T.J. Hooker: Romano, when Grandpa did go, at 94, twelve women wept at his grave, not including Grandma.
- Sgt. T.J. Hooker: [to the scared, young crook pointing a gun at him] You're not in real trouble yet. Not if you drop the gun. Try shooting it out, and you'll be dead. And being dead is as much trouble as there is.
- Orson: Hey man, this whole thing is a bunch of bullwash!
- Officer Vince Romano: Attempting to provoke an officer with abusive language!