- The Doctor: How did you manage to release the neurozine? I never opened the ventilation system.
- EMH #2: Trapped in the Jefferies tube, alone, nowhere to run, his smug comrade captured by Romulans, EMH Mark II had to improvise. Inspiration! He accessed the main computer and simulated a ship-wide bio-hazard, making the computer think there was a micro-biotic contamination on all decks.
- The Doctor: [understanding] And the ventilation system opened automatically.
- EMH #2: Presto! He then crawled back out of the tube, accessed the holo-emitters, transferred here, excused the Romulan, saw the dumbfounded look on his comrade's face...
- The Doctor: The end! You know, you really should keep a personal log. Why bore others needlessly?
- The Doctor: Stop breathing down my neck!
- EMH #2: My breathing is merely a simulation.
- The Doctor: So is my neck. Stop it anyway!
- The Doctor: The warbirds are in retreat! Doctor, we've done it!
- EMH #2: Two holograms alone, Romulans on one side, Starfleet on the other, alarms beeping everywhere!
- The Doctor: EMH Mark II, newborn, but filled with courage.
- EMH #2: EMH Mark I, armed with years of experience.
- The Doctor: Together they emerged triumphant.
- EMH #2: The End.
- [computer beeps]
- EMH #2: Or not.
- Cmdr. Rekar: Tell me who is operating your program. Is it someone on this ship, a Starfleet crew member we missed, or one of my own men?
- The Doctor: Paranoia is a way of life for you, isn't it?
- EMH #2: Have you run a self-diagnostic lately? The EMH Mark I is designed to function in sickbay only.
- The Doctor: Voyager lost its Chief Medical Officer four years ago. I've been active ever since.
- EMH #2: Four years? No wonder you're delusional.
- [during negotiations with Janeway, a rather hostile Hirogen suddenly collapses from an energy discharge]
- Captain Kathryn Janeway: What happened?
- Seven of Nine: I generated a feedback surge along our sensor link.
- B'Elanna Torres: You killed him?
- Seven of Nine: It was a mild shock. He will recover.
- Captain Kathryn Janeway: And when he does?
- Seven of Nine: He wasn't responding to diplomacy.
- Captain Kathryn Janeway: Is the sensor link stable?
- Seven of Nine: Yes, Captain.
- Captain Kathryn Janeway: Keep watching for the Doctor. Let me know if our friend gives us any more trouble.
- [Janeway exits]
- B'Elanna Torres: 'Mild shock.' Not bad.
- Seven of Nine: Thank you.
- The Doctor: [having sent EHM Mark-2 to tactical] What are you waiting for? Shoot!
- [EHM Mark-2 looks about]
- The Doctor: Shoot!
- EMH #2: There are so many controls.
- The Doctor: Find the one that says 'fire' and push it!
- The Doctor: Three more ships are approaching.
- EMH #2: We're doomed!
- The Doctor: No. They're Starfleet!
- [Prometheus is rocked by a phaser hit]
- EMH #2: What are they doing?
- The Doctor: Firing on us!
- EMH #2: They must think Romulans are on board!
- The Doctor: They're right!
- Cmdr. Rekar: What else have you done to this ship? I will deactivate you unless you start answering my questions.
- The Doctor: If I answer them, you'll very likely deactivate me anyway, so I fail to see the point.
- The Doctor: I assure you, I am in perfect health. I was saving Voyager from annihilation when you were only a gleam in your programmer's eye.
- EMH #2: [haughtily] Yes! Yes, yes, yes. You're the Mark I EMH, the inferior program.
- The Doctor: [indignantly] Inferior?
- EMH #2: Beady eyes, terrible bedside manner. I recognize you.
- The Doctor: [on the bridge of the Starship Prometheus] I've had my share of piloting experience. Actually, only two lessons - and they were in a shuttlecraft, on the holodeck - but I showed great intuition.
- The Doctor: [looks around, puzzled] Where's the helm?
- EMH #2: You'd better intuit it fast. We're only about eight minutes from the Romulan border.
- EMH #2: Doctor, some... thing just went offline.
- The Doctor: Specifically?
- EMH #2: The secondary gyrodyne relays in the propulsion field intermatrix have depolarized.
- The Doctor: In English!
- EMH #2: I'm just reading what it says here.
- [Romulan warbirds approach the Prometheus]
- EMH #2: My brilliant existence cut short, no time to explore the universe, no time to smell the roses, no time for... sex.
- B'Elanna Torres: You may have noticed that some of the crew seem a bit on edge when you're around.
- Seven of Nine: I was Borg. I elicit apprehension.
- The Doctor: I'm as close to a sentient life-form as any hologram could hope to be. I socialize with the crew, fraternize with aliens. I've even had sexual relations.
- EMH #2: Sex? How's that possible? We're not equipped...
- The Doctor: Let's just say, I made an addition to my program.
- EMH #2: Before you leave, maybe you could download those subroutines into my database.
- The Doctor: We'll see.
- The Doctor: Now, I need to know more about what's happening. Is the Federation at war with the Romulans?
- EMH #2: No. The Romulans haven't gotten involved in our fight with the Dominion.
- The Doctor: The who?
- EMH #2: Long story.
- [the EMH-2 fires a torpedo, which ends up hitting a Federation Defiant-class ship]
- The Doctor: You hit the wrong ship!
- EMH #2: It wasn't my fault!
- The Doctor: Well, then, whose fault was it, the torpedo's? You're supposed to tell it what to do!
- [last lines]
- Captain Kathryn Janeway: Doctor. Report
- The Doctor: I... I did it.
- Captain Kathryn Janeway: You completed the mission?
- The Doctor: Yes. Once the Romulans were out of the way.
- Tuvok: Romulans?
- The Doctor: They'd taken over the Prometheus, the ship I was on, but I managed to turn the tables on them with a little help from a fellow EMH
- Chakotay: You got through to Starfleet?
- The Doctor: I spoke directly with headquarters. Apparently, Voyager was declared officially lost fourteen months ago. I set the record straight. I told them everything that's happened to this crew. They said they would contact your families to tell them the news and promised that they won't stop until they've found a way to get Voyager back home. And they asked me to relay a message. They wanted you to know... you're no longer alone.
- Captain Kathryn Janeway: 60,000 light years... seems a little closer today.
- The Doctor: Refresh my memory. Which of us has the terrible bedside manner?
- EMH #2: You're not my patient.
- The Doctor: My first bit of good news.
- [Janeway has updated some letters to her family]
- Captain Kathryn Janeway: I know. It's premature.
- Chakotay: You're right. It's probably a mistake for us to get our hopes up at all. We've been through THIS before.
- [Janeway gives Chakotay a look]
- Chakotay: All right, I'll admit it. I just finished a letter to my cousin in Ohio.
- [Torres complains vehemently about Seven of Nine's attitude and conduct]
- Chakotay: What do you want me to do? Throw her in the brig for the rest of the trip home?
- B'Elanna Torres: I've heard worse ideas.
- [the Doctor and the EMH #2 desperately try to deal with three Romulan warbirds surrounding them]
- Sub-Commander Almak: This is the Warbird T'Met calling the Prometheus. Commander Rekar, respond. Commander.
- The Doctor: [adopting a deep voice] This is the Prometheus.
- Sub-Commander Almak: Activate your viewscreen.
- The Doctor: Our viewscreen is not operational. We've had some trouble with Starfleet commandos.
- Sub-Commander Almak: Where is Rekar?
- The Doctor: In the medical bay. He's suffered minor injuries.
- Sub-Commander Almak: Identify yourself.
- EMH #2: [to the Doctor, whispering] You first.
- The Doctor: You first.
- Sub-Commander Almak: Repeat your last statement. I don't understand.
- The Doctor: State YOUR identity.
- Sub-Commander Almak: This is Sub-Commander Almak. Lower your shields and prepare to be boarded.
- The Doctor: They're already down. Maybe there's something wrong with your sensor readings. You'd better not try to transport until we can be sure it's safe.
- Sub-Commander Almak: Lower your shields immediately or I'll open fire.
- The Doctor: Immediately? Yes. Prometheus out.
- [as the Doctor ends communication. the Romulans start firing]
- The Doctor: Yes. Your friend is recovering nicely; however, I found something disturbing in his blood work. It seems he's been exposed to a nasty strain of the Torothka virus, and if he was, you all may have been. I've come to run some scans.
- Cmdr. Rekar: No one here is sick.
- The Doctor: Not yet. I understand the stomach cramps are unbearable, although some say the rash is worse.
- Cmdr. Rekar: Conduct your scans.
- Neelix: They're gonna be all right, aren't they?
- Tom Paris: It's heartburn, Neelix, not the Terrillian plague. What did you feed them, anyway?
- Neelix: Rodeo Red's Red Hot Rootin' Tootin' Chili.
- Tom Paris: [laughs] Where did you find that recipe?
- Neelix: I've been brushing up on classic American cuisine. When we get back to Earth, I wanna make sure I have marketable job skills.
- Tom Paris: Don't you think you're jumping the gun a little bit?
- Neelix: The Doctor is going to make it back, and he's going to bring a plan for Starfleet to rescue us. I have complete confidence in him.
- Tom Paris: I hope you're right. If not, I'm gonna spend the rest of this trip treating upset stomachs.
- Neelix: Oh, believe me, this is never going to happen again. It's just a matter of perfecting the recipe. Next time I'll use a few less ja-lop-enohs.
- Chakotay: [to Torres, about Seven] I'm getting tired of playing referee every time you two have a disagreement. If you have a problem, talk to her yourself.
- Cmdr. Rekar: I told you to mask our warp trail.
- Nevala: I've been trying. These new systems are unfamiliar. We should have left some of the crew alive.
- Cmdr. Rekar: And you'd be surprised how stubborn humans can be.