Star Trek: Voyager (TV Series)

Fair Haven (2000)

Robert Duncan McNeill: Ensign Tom Paris

Quotes 

• [Tuvok is feeling nauseous from nearby space radiation] 

  Tuvok : Vulcan physiology is highly sensitive to neutronic gradients.

  Tom Paris : You'd make a good barometer, Tuvok. Every time you get queasy, we go to Red Alert.

• Tom Paris : Harry hasn't seen Sullivan's yet. D'you care to join us?

  The Doctor : [in the role of the priest in Fair Haven]  Don't mind if I do. I'll need to leave no later than 1300 hours.

  Tom Paris : Medical emergency?

  The Doctor : Not exactly. I'm working on my homily for Sunday's mass - and I expect both you sinners to be in attendance.

  [he enters the pub] 

  Tom Paris : He's kidding, right?

  Harry Kim : You wanted authenticity.

• The Doctor : Speaking of revisions, I was hoping I could give my character a more active role. In the period you've created, the village priest was the most prominent member of the community, held in the highest regard.

  Tom Paris : That's a great idea, Doc. We could send Father Mulligan on a retreat to a nearby monastery, where he takes a vow of silence and never speaks again.

  The Doctor : Try it! And you'll be saying Hail Marys till St. Patrick's Day.

• [Seven is throwing rings in the pub, observed by a fascinated Seamus] 

  Seamus Driscol : The lily and the rose are staging a competition on your face.

  Seven of Nine : Clarify.

  Seamus Driscol : The fullness of your lips and the paleness of your cheeks, it's enough to make a man faint.

  Seven of Nine : Then, in that case, perhaps we should sit down.

  [Seven throws her last ring, and the two head for a table] 

  Harry Kim : I don't believe it.

  Tom Paris : It's called old-world charm, Harry.

• Tom Paris : Everybody, place your bets!

  Seamus Driscol : Three bob on Liam.

  Tom Paris : Three bob it is.

  The Doctor : [as Father Mulligan]  Five shillings on Liam.

  Tom Paris : You're gonna hurt Harry's feelings.

  The Doctor : Oh, very well. Two shillings on Mr. Kim and I'll pray for a miracle.

• Harry Kim : I remember trying to reach the holodeck controls, then, uh... somebody grabbed my leg.

  Tom Paris : Maybe it was the talking pig.

  Harry Kim : If it was, he had one hell of a left hook.

• Captain Kathryn Janeway : I hate to break up the party, but we have some business to attend to. There's a neutronic wavefront approaching - class 9.

  Harry Kim : Class 9?

  Tom Paris : Sorry, boys, duty calls.

  Seamus Driscol : Erm... "Wavefront". Now, what in the name of God is that?

  Tom Paris : Um... a wee bit of bad weather.

• Tom Paris : A word to the wise: stay away from Maggie O'Holleran. She's promised to a pig farmer with a very large rake.

  Harry Kim : Oh. Does she have a sister?