South Park (TV Series)
Gnomes (1998)
Trey Parker: Stan Marsh, Eric Cartman, Mr. Garrison, Mr. Tweek, Officer Barbrady, Johnson, Public Access Host, Prop 10 Commercial Voice-Over, Other Sign Hanger, Gnomes, Toto Fan, Coffee Customer #2
Quotes
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Stan Marsh : Hey, do you ever think, maybe you shouldn't give your son coffee?
Mrs. Tweek : Like, how do you mean?
Stan Marsh : Like, look at him. He's always shaking and nervous.
Mrs. Tweek : Oh, that... he has ADD.
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Kyle Broflovski : [One of the Underpants Gnomes stays behind and is stared at]
[Whispering]
Kyle Broflovski : Shh! Don't scare him!
Stan Marsh : Hey, there... little guy!
Eric Cartman : Bad!
[Hits the Gnome with a stick]
Kyle Broflovski : Cartman!
Eric Cartman : What?
Kyle Broflovski : Why do you always have to hit stuff with a stick?
Eric Cartman : Well look at him... he's all... well... you know... look at him.
[Hits it again]
Underpants Gnome : Is that all you got, Pussy?
Eric Cartman : What?
Stan Marsh : Hey! He talked!
Eric Cartman : Yeah! He just called me a pussy! I'm not a pussy! You're a pussy!
Underpants Gnome : You're a pussy, Pussy!
Eric Cartman : Ay!
Stan Marsh : Dude, why are you taking Tweek's underpants?
Kyle Broflovski : Yeah, look what you're doing to this poor kid!
Stan Marsh : Aaugh!
Underpants Gnome : Stealing underpants big business!
Stan Marsh : Business? Wait! Do you know anything about business?
Underpants Gnome : Sure! That's what gnomes do!
Kyle Broflovski : Show us!
Underpants Gnome : Okay! Follow Me!
[They follow him]
Eric Cartman : [Muttering] Little Pussy Gnome! Don't call me a pussy! Pussy Gnome!
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Tweek : [Tweek's family coffee shop is failing] We're all going broke. We'll starve and die! Like dogs!
Eric Cartman : Tweek, calm down. If your family gets poor, you just go on welfare. Look at Kenny's family - they're prefectly happy being poor and on welfare, right Kenny?
Kenny McCormick : [muffled from his parka] Fuck you!
Eric Cartman : [laughs] You suck, Kenny
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Tweek : Soon they'll want my blood!
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Prop 10 Commercial Voice-Over : Vote Yes on Prop 10, or else you hate children. You don't hate children, do you?
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Mr. Tweek : They really have my balls in a salad shooter.
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Prop 10 Commercial Voice-Over : Paid for by Citizens for a fair and equal way to get Harbucks Coffee kicked out of town forever.
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Mr. Tweek : They really have my balls in a juice maker.
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Eric Cartman : I think my Mom is a corporation.
Stan Marsh : Yeah, that makes sense.
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Tweek : The metaphors, Dad!
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Eric Cartman : [Sees an Underpants Gnome] Well, I'll be God-damned...
