The Sopranos (TV Series)
Two Tonys (2004)
Michael Imperioli: Christopher Moltisanti
Quotes
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Paulie 'Walnuts' Gualtieri : I'll tell ya, after a meal like that, what I could use is a nice piece of ass. Who knows? Maybe I'll call down and have them send one to the room?
Christopher Moltisanti : [Angered from being forced into paying for an expensive dinner] why don't you just fuck yourself? Save a little money
Paulie 'Walnuts' Gualtieri : What's your problem?
Christopher Moltisanti : Stop trying to bait me Paulie you know what my fuckin problem is
Paulie 'Walnuts' Gualtieri : No, why don't you tell me?
Christopher Moltisanti : You want me to tell you? Fine. Steaks, three pound lobsters, the shrimp fuckin cocktail you made everybody get, and then on top of everything else, you send those skanks a bottle of Cristal?
Paulie 'Walnuts' Gualtieri : I was trying to be gentlemen, you ought to try it sometime
Christopher Moltisanti : Not to mention the Lyonnaise fuckin potatoes you didn't even touch
Paulie 'Walnuts' Gualtieri : What? I lost my appetite
Christopher Moltisanti : Fuck you!
Paulie 'Walnuts' Gualtieri : Excuse me?
Christopher Moltisanti : You fuckin heard me
Paulie 'Walnuts' Gualtieri : I'm telling you I don't give a fuck anymore who you're related to
Christopher Moltisanti : [Provoking Paulie into hitting him] go ahead, go for it. Your big fuckin moment
Paulie 'Walnuts' Gualtieri : You little...
Waiter : [Interrupting them] excuse me gentlemen, was there a problem with the service?
Christopher Moltisanti : What're you talking about?
Waiter : You left me a sixteen dollars sir, perhaps you miscounted?
Christopher Moltisanti : There's twelve hundred bucks in there
Waiter : That's correct. And the bill was eleven hundred and eighty-four dollars. Assuming you don't tip on tax or alcohol fifteen percent
Christopher Moltisanti : I'm tapped out
Waiter : You think this job is easy? I have kids
Christopher Moltisanti : Then go back inside before you get hurt
Waiter : I have a God damn family to support
Christopher Moltisanti : Fuck off
Waiter : [Before turning around and storming off] Right, go piss it away on Blackjack fucking assholes
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Paulie 'Walnuts' Gualtieri : [referring to the incident with Valery] so, we open the trunk, this suffocating Russian cocksucker pops up: his still alive
Christopher Moltisanti : [after they all laugh] we lead him through the snow, this asshole's shivering. I mean his wearing fuckin pajamas and slippers in like eight-degree weather
Christopher Moltisanti : [continuing the story and the sound of a gun, after Tony greets them and leaves] anyway, he starts running, the Russian. Boom! I'm telling you the top of his head came off like a fuckin bad rug
Paulie 'Walnuts' Gualtieri : what a beating we had to give this prick
Vito Spatafore : where's he now, do you think?
Paulie 'Walnuts' Gualtieri : who the fuck cares, right Chrissy?
Christopher Moltisanti : who the fuck knows?
Vito Spatafore : [referring to Valery] poor bastard
Christopher Moltisanti : never would've happened if Paulie hadn't initially "overacted" but it's one for the books
Paulie 'Walnuts' Gualtieri : what'd you mean "overreacted?"
Christopher Moltisanti : you choked him with the guy's lamp, Paulie, we could've got Silvio's money without having to spend the night in the fuckin open
Paulie 'Walnuts' Gualtieri : [clarifying the details to everybody, referring to Christopher] he let him jab him with the shovel was the problem: he let his guard down
Christopher Moltisanti : we would've caught up to the prick, if you didn't lose your fuckin shoe
Vito Spatafore : Paulie, you lost your shoe? You didn't tell us about that
Christopher Moltisanti : [impersonating Paulie pleading] "Chrissy please, don't leave me out here."
Paulie 'Walnuts' Gualtieri : you little cocksucker
Christopher Moltisanti : I covered your ass with Tony about that whole "thing" and never a word of fuckin thanks: ever!
Paulie 'Walnuts' Gualtieri : who's playing the "blood relations" card? Tony's "little favorite"
Christopher Moltisanti : fuck you!
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Adriana La Cerva : So, where's the dinner at?
Christopher Moltisanti : I forget the name, it's in the car
Adriana La Cerva : Who's gonna be there?
Christopher Moltisanti : What're you on the school paper? Guys: business. Got any cash?
Adriana La Cerva : Some, hand me my bag
Christopher Moltisanti : [while looking through her wallet] That's all you got?
Adriana La Cerva : There's like four hundred dollars
Christopher Moltisanti : I'm "low man" tonight, I gotta pay for everybody
Adriana La Cerva : [irritated] This is fuckin ridiculous, why should you get stuck all the time? You should make Paulie pay
Christopher Moltisanti : What, I make the rules now? The guy's a captain
Adriana La Cerva : I know but when he was in jail, all I'm saying is if you get the extra responsibilities, you should get the " benefits" too
Christopher Moltisanti : Your right. I'll say "hello" to the guys for you
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Paulie 'Walnuts' Gualtieri : [over the phone] get some sleep?
Christopher Moltisanti : a little, you know
Paulie 'Walnuts' Gualtieri : [referring to them assaulting and then killing a waiter after giving a small tip for an expensive bill] fucked up huh?
Christopher Moltisanti : what're you gonna do?
Paulie 'Walnuts' Gualtieri : I'm not too worried about the cops: nobody knows us down there. The reason I called, let's "bury the hatchet", you and me, all this bullshit with us
Christopher Moltisanti : I know, it's stupid
Paulie 'Walnuts' Gualtieri : life's too short: you can't waste it fighting with your friends. Look at what could've happened last night, one of us could've got hurt, even killed for Christ's sake
Christopher Moltisanti : I know
Paulie 'Walnuts' Gualtieri : your "special" to me, you know, always have been
Christopher Moltisanti : you too
Paulie 'Walnuts' Gualtieri : we'll split the tab
Christopher Moltisanti : I'm sorry
Paulie 'Walnuts' Gualtieri : I apologize too kid. I'll talk to you later
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Christopher Moltisanti : [after entering Tony's office] Sil said you were looking for me?
Tony Soprano : [sternly] Sit down
Christopher Moltisanti : Is this about the easter baskets?
Tony Soprano : I don't even know what that is and to tell you the truth, I don't wanna know. What's this shit between you and Paulie? You chiseled him out of a dinner?
Christopher Moltisanti : [surprised] I chiseled him? He said that?
Tony Soprano : [points at him] I asked you a question
Christopher Moltisanti : [before Tony nods] Can I say something in my own defense? It's not right I that have to pay all the time, I've been paying for fuckin years
Tony Soprano : [before Christopher nods, adamantly] You done? Good, you pay until I say you don't have to pay no more: don't give me that face. You know how many tabs, how many dinners I've picked up over the years? Fuckin Richie Aprile, fat fuckin Gerry Anastasia: those guys killed me at Benihanas and forget it, I put a new wing on Peter Luger's. Brandy, cigars, champagne, I could've bought a fuckin plane
Christopher Moltisanti : I hear you but that was before inflation
Tony Soprano : Whatever, it's tradition. It's like in ancient times, the samurai had these young boys that did their errands, wash their clothes, shit like that: it's a sign of respect. You should cheer up, one day some kid will be paying for your dinner