- Dr. Krakower: Have you ever read Crime and Punishment? Dostoyevksy?
- [Carmela shakes her head 'no']
- Dr. Krakower: It's not an easy read. It's about guilt and redemption. I think your husband ought to turn himself and read this book in his jail cell and meditate on his crimes every day for seven years, so that he might be redeemed.
- Carmela Soprano: I would have to get a lawyer, find an apartment, arrange for child support...
- Dr. Krakower: You, you're not listening. I'm not charging you because I won't take blood money, and you can't, either. One thing you can never say is that you haven't been told.
- Carmela Soprano: I see.
- Tony Soprano: [on the golf course, giving Dr. Kennedy a golf club as a gift] For you. Titanium. I use one! Added ten yards to my drives!
- Dr. John Kennedy: Thanks, but I really can't accept it.
- Tony Soprano: For everything you've done for my uncle. Anyway, what am I gonna do with it? I already got one, and Mr. Williams here
- [motioning to Furio]
- Tony Soprano: , he don't play. Right?
- Furio Giunta: Stupid-a-fucking game!
- Corrado Erico 'Uncle Junior' Soprano: Anthony is a cunt hair away from owning all Northern Jersey - and I am that cunt hair.
- Carmela Soprano: He's a good man. He's a good father.
- Dr. Krakower: You tell me he's a depressed criminal, prone to anger, serially unfaithful. Is that your definition of a good man?... You must trust your initial impulse and consider leaving him. You'll never be able to feel good about yourself. You'll never be able to quell the feelings of guilt and shame that you talked about, so long as you're his accomplice.
- Carmela Soprano: You're wrong about the accomplice part, though.
- Dr. Krakower: You sure?
- Carmela Soprano: All I did was make sure he's got clean clothes in his closet and dinner on his table.
- Dr. Krakower: So "enable" would be a more accurate job description for what you do than "accomplice". My apologies... Take only the children - what's left of them - and go.
- Carmela Soprano: My priest said I should work with him, help him to become a better man.
- Dr. Krakower: How's that going?
- Carmela Soprano: I thought psychiatrists weren't supposed to be judgmental.
- Dr. Krakower: Many patients want to be excused for their current predicament because of events that occured in their childhood. That's what psychiatry has become in America. Visit any shopping mall or ethnic pride parade, and witness the results.
- Paulie 'Walnuts' Gualtieri: [after playing pool] are you wearing a wire?
- Christopher Moltisanti: Are you fucking crazy?
- Paulie 'Walnuts' Gualtieri: [to Patsy] pat him down
- Christopher Moltisanti: If he fucking touches me...
- Paulie 'Walnuts' Gualtieri: Then make it easy on us all, take everything off.
- Christopher Moltisanti: [Christopher takes off his pants]
- Paulie 'Walnuts' Gualtieri: [Referring to his underwear] I said "everything"
- Christopher Moltisanti: Go fuck yourself
- Paulie 'Walnuts' Gualtieri: Before I was breaking balls now you're beginning to worry me
- Christopher Moltisanti: [Christopher takes off his underwear]
- Paulie 'Walnuts' Gualtieri: I guess you can call that a dick
- [laughs]
- Carmela Soprano: The real reason I stopped by to see you was to make sure you've recovered from this Noah thing. I'm worried it'll affect your grades.
- Meadow Soprano: You call losing a wonderful man because of Dad a thing?
- Carmela Soprano: Is that really what happened? Because you certainly kept seeing him long after that business with your father.
- Meadow Soprano: Look, don't drag me into whatever bullshit accommodational pretense you've got worked out with Daddy.
- Carmela Soprano: What was that, last night's reading assignment?
- Carmela Soprano: What we say in here, stays in here, right?
- Dr. Krakower: By ethical code, and by law.
- Carmela Soprano: His crimes... they are, organized crime.
- Dr. Krakower: The Mafia!
- Carmela Soprano: Oh Jesus.
- [wipes tears from her eyes]
- Carmela Soprano: So what? So what? He betrays me every week with these whores!
- Dr. Krakower: Probably the least of his misdeeds.
- [Carmela gets up to leave]
- Dr. Krakower: You can leave now, or you can stay and hear what I have to say.
- Carmela Soprano: You're gonna charge me all the same.
- Dr. Krakower: I won't take your money.
- Carmela Soprano: That's a new one.
- [Chrissy catches Paulie sniffing Adriana's panties]
- Christopher Moltisanti: [angry] Motherfucker!
- Adriana La Cerva: What?
- Christopher Moltisanti: Nothing.
- Tony Soprano: [after seeing Junior spilled a nutrition drink from a blender onto himself and the kitchen counter] what the hell you doing?
- Junior Soprano: Those marshals see you coming in here? Because I need be remanded to a jailhouse right now like I need a taste of crabs
- Tony Soprano: There's no car out there today and I came up through the cellar like always. Where the fuck is Bacala'? His suppose to be doing this shit for you
- Junior Soprano: I sent him to the drug store for some more Pepto
- Tony Soprano: You're getting better, that's the important thing. You look better too.
- Junior Soprano: If you're going to lie to me, tell me there's a broad waiting in the car that's going to tongue my balls.
- Tony Soprano: Hey, if you want that, it's a phone call away.
- Tony Soprano: [after looking at the mess on the counter] still want this?
- Junior Soprano: I've got to get nutrition somehow. Kennedy says only eat what I can sip through a straw
- Junior Soprano: [after Tony brings over a glass of the nutrition drink and sits next to him] what's going on with you and Ralphie Cifaretto? Bacala said there's bad blood now?
- Tony Soprano: What? You don't got enough on your plate? You need a new blender? Worry about your own problems. When did they say you can eat real food?
- Junior Soprano: Who knows? Kennedy's putting me under the knife again
- Tony Soprano: [Confused] back up. More surgery? Don't you think you should talk to somebody else? Get a second opinion?
- Junior Soprano: Chemo? Forget it, with Kennedy its "cut, zip, over and out". He has the hands of an angel, and don't forget his name
- Tony Soprano: What? I'm supposed to be impressed because the name is "John Kennedy"? All the micks named their kids that after the guy got killed
- Junior Soprano: I loved that man, his older than me and now look
- Junior Soprano: [to Bobby after returns] you were gone a long time, how many White Castles did you have?
- Bobby 'Bacala' Baccalieri: I didn't, I swear
- Junior Soprano: I can smell them
- Tony Soprano: Let me call Cusamano, he knows doctors in the city it can't hurt to make a call
- Junior Soprano: People come from the city to see Kennedy
- Tony Soprano: Good, then we won't be fighting traffic. Come on uncle Jun you know I'm right
- Junior Soprano: [Eventually referring to Bobby didn't ask any productive questions at the last doctor's visit] alright you set it up,you come with me to listen and ask questions
- Tony Soprano: [Before leaving and giving Junior a kiss on the head] good, good, I'll let you know alright?
- Junior Soprano: My nephew thinks I need a "second opinion." he doesn't like it that I'm going back under the knife
- Bobby 'Bacala' Baccalieri: Maybe there's something to that?
- Paulie 'Walnuts' Gualtieri: [while in his car, after seeing Christopher leave a motel room with a prostitute] your not even married yet, your "dipping" into whores already
- Christopher Moltisanti: It didn't cost me a quarter. I didn't pay for it, how'd you find me?
- Paulie 'Walnuts' Gualtieri: You better be careful. If I can do it, so can your bride to be
- Christopher Moltisanti: So, what is this? Some new rule on who I fuck? You want more shoes? What?
- Paulie 'Walnuts' Gualtieri: No, funny thing is they don't even fit her. I don't know why I thought she was a size ten
- Christopher Moltisanti: I don't know either
- Paulie 'Walnuts' Gualtieri: I'm here to tell you one thing: you ever go whining to the big man again about shit between you and me, then we'll have a problem my friend
- Dr. John Kennedy: [Chuckles, accepting Tony's gift] well I guess I could use some extra distance
- Tony Soprano: Who couldn't?
- Tony Soprano: [Starts walking closer to him with Furio to intimidate him] you know my uncle, his not doing so well. His got a bad reaction to that Chemo
- Dr. John Kennedy: That happens all the time, there's nothing I can really do
- Furio Giunta: You know there are worst things that can happen to a person than cancer
- Tony Soprano: [Continues walking closer to him until Kennedy's right foot steps into the pond] my uncle thinks his going to die. His convinced of it. You know how old people are with their superstitions. He thinks it's because he went against you
- Dr. John Kennedy: I'm just a surgeon that's all
- Tony Soprano: Show that man the respect he deserves: answer his phone calls
- Dr. John Kennedy: [Takes out a digital recorder to record a message for his secretary, before Tony slaps the recorder out of his hand and into the pond] "Cheryl, make sure Mr. Soprano is scheduled for..."
- Tony Soprano: [Before driving off in a golf cart] just remember it
- Carmela Soprano: I think you should pay him, Tony
- Tony Soprano: No fucking way!
- Carmela Soprano: What, your daughter's future isn't worth 50,000 dollars?
- Tony Soprano: [refusing to donate money to Meadow's university] That's not it. That motherfucker's full of shit. He's shaking me down
- Carmela Soprano: No, he's not
- Tony Soprano: Oh, yeah? Who knows more about extortion, me or you?
- Tony Soprano: [referring to Paulie] Big deal, he pat you down
- Christopher Moltisanti: Pat me down I can do standing on my head, it's every fuckin thing else. He came into my apartment in the middle of the night and embarrassed the shit out of me in front of Adriana
- Tony Soprano: [raises his pinky finger to imply Christopher has a small penis] Yeah, I heard he strip searched you?
- Christopher Moltisanti: I'm not fuckin kidding, he's a sick fuck, he was sniffing her fuckin panties
- Tony Soprano: What?
- Christopher Moltisanti: You heard me
- Tony Soprano: Look, I don't deny Paulie could be a little... quirky, he always has but you're moving up very fast, why do you think that is?
- Christopher Moltisanti: Are you gonna say it's because I'm you fuckin nephew?
- Tony Soprano: [nods] Then be a big boy and suck it up
- Carmela Soprano: [when he arrives late for dinner] you could've called, now everything's cold
- Tony Soprano: [jokingly] well... that's why they invented microwaves: for inconsiderate husbands
- Carmela Soprano: since we're alone, it'd be nice to have dinner together
- Tony Soprano: don't bust my chops, I got enough on my mind
- Tony Soprano: [while eating] this is fuckin delicious, really, is this the new macaroni?
- Carmela Soprano: right
- Tony Soprano: the hell with heating it up: it's good like this
- Carmela Soprano: I'm glad something brings you joy
- Tony Soprano: you're amazing with your cooking
- Carmela Soprano: I'm having lunch with our daughter's dean tomorrow, I gather you won't be joining me?
- Tony Soprano: I told you: all he wants is our money
- Carmela Soprano: Fine, don't come
- Tony Soprano: [referring to paying the tuition] We already "shelled out" forty grand a year to those people
- Carmela Soprano: it's well spent, she's really learning. She's out on her own and if she passes us by...
- Tony Soprano: [interrupts her] "if"? She did that when she was fourteen
- Carmela Soprano: isn't that what you want for your kids?
- Tony Soprano: [jokingly] no, I want them to be backwards and ignorant and sit around with their thumb up their ass and I'm gonna make sure of that by not going to lunch with some asshole who's trying to shake me down
- Carmela Soprano: fine, don't go. Guess who I ran into at the supermarket today?
- Carmela Soprano: [when he shrugs] Angie Bonpensiero
- Tony Soprano: really? How's she doing?
- Carmela Soprano: her dog is sick
- Tony Soprano: what? That fluffy, French coco piece of shit? What's wrong with her?
- Carmela Soprano: osteoporosis: Angie needs money for an operation
- Tony Soprano: well, take it up with Pussy. If she ever finds the fat fuck, wherever the Feds put him, I'd look in Arizona, stake out all the TGI Fridays, he loves their wings: he left Angie holding the "bag" which is not right and those FBI, "family value" loving cocksuckers, how could they let him go without his wife?
- Carmela Soprano: into the program?
- Tony Soprano: [sternly] yeah, that's right, he ratted us out: me and you. And that's where he is, and I don't want to hear about him ever again or his ungrateful cunt wife
- Carmela Soprano: [surprised he described her that way] his what wife?
- Corrado Erico 'Uncle Junior' Soprano: [impressed with the photos on Kennedy's wall] you took these yourself?
- Dr. John Kennedy: [points to one of the photos] that's a Samoan village I lived in for a month
- Corrado Erico 'Uncle Junior' Soprano: you could send these in to National Geographic
- Dr. John Kennedy: so, I got back your complete surgical pathology and OP reports
- Corrado Erico 'Uncle Junior' Soprano: I feel a hundred percent
- Dr. John Kennedy: that's good... it's possible there may be some malignant cells we didn't get. See, when we operate, we have to decide how much healthy tissue to cut around the tumor, the margins weren't wide enough. We took a small sampling of the tumor from the frozen section and when we got back the complete results, it showed Nodal Involvement
- Corrado Erico 'Uncle Junior' Soprano: don't blame yourself, so what do we do next?
- Dr. John Kennedy: it's called amended surgery
- Corrado Erico 'Uncle Junior' Soprano: oh, Jesus, cut me again?
- Corrado Erico 'Uncle Junior' Soprano: [after a secretary informed Kennedy his next patient arrived] don't let me keep you
- Dr. John Kennedy: I am kind of backed up: let's schedule you for Tuesday at 6am, we can admit you and prep you Monday night, any questions?
- Bobby 'Bacala' Baccalieri: when can he eat regular food again?
- Dr. John Kennedy: I'd guess two weeks? Let's fill out the surgical consent forms, that's one less thing you have to deal with in the hospital, take all the time you need to read them
- Corrado Erico 'Uncle Junior' Soprano: no need, you say sign, I sign. You tell me to take a crap on the deck of the Queen Mary, an hour later their hosing her down with disinfectant
- Dr. Jennifer Melfi: [seeing Carmela for a session without Tony] You sounded tense on the phone
- Carmela Soprano: I just wanted to make sure it was ok if I came alone? I mean Tony couldn't make it. I love the artwork you have here: the country scenes
- Dr. Jennifer Melfi: thank you
- Carmela Soprano: [referring to the nude statue in the waiting area] That statue is not my favorite
- Carmela Soprano: [when Melfi doesn't respond] Oh, come on, look, it's not like this when me and Tony are here together, you never give him the silent treatment
- Dr. Jennifer Melfi: Is that what you think? I'm giving you the silent treatment?
- Dr. Jennifer Melfi: [when she doesn't respond] Maybe you can tell me why you came today?
- Carmela Soprano: I'm worried about my husband: the mood swings. I thought... when his mother died maybe... but still half the time he doesn't even talk to me. You've seen him get like that, the day he stood here like a wall. I know he is your patient and I am only the patient's wife but you try living like that twenty-four hours a day, seven days a week and see how you feel
- Dr. Jennifer Melfi: I see
- Carmela Soprano: Oh, you do? Well, for your information, I am not the only one: the fact is Tony isn't under the weather today, he just didn't feel like coming. Fuck that shit is what I think he said
- Dr. Jennifer Melfi: Usually when that happens when we touch on a nerve, he was distressed over this young man's death in the garbage compactor
- Carmela Soprano: He didn't say garbage compactor, did he?
- Carmela Soprano: [when Melfi doesn't respond, referring to they didn't realize Tony was lying to them on the cause of death of the young man when he first told them] See?
- Dr. Jennifer Melfi: What is it you believe?
- Carmela Soprano: You know about his job, he reports to a strip club, who knows how he spends his days?
- Carmela Soprano: [after beginning to cry] I'm sorry. I'm just frustrated, Tony's been out of sorts for so long. There is nothing I can do to help him
- Dr. Jennifer Melfi: I think coming to therapy with him has stirred up a lot of feelings in you that you would like to address with somebody?
- Carmela Soprano: Oh, please, I am just a little emotional today
- Dr. Jennifer Melfi: I would like to help you but as you pointed out your husband is my patient
- Carmela Soprano: I am not the one who needs mental help, I just needed to vent
- Tony Soprano: fifty grand? You gotta be kidding me?
- Carmela Soprano: [referring to her and Dean Ross] we talked a lot about Meadow having the best possible university experience
- Tony Soprano: yeah, those Jew pricks are holding us hostage
- Carmela Soprano: his Italian
- Tony Soprano: Jews are better fooled
- Carmela Soprano: they know from Verbum, we're big "givers"
- Tony Soprano: we gave five grand a year, that's a long way from fifty
- Carmela Soprano: this is college: New York City, five thousand is like slap in face to these people
- Tony Soprano: well, then let them say no
- Tony Soprano: [after taking money out from his pocket and tosses it to her] here's around five grand, pay them through your household account, so you can write them a check and that's it: not a penny more
- Carmela Soprano: [after he orders their drinks in his native language] You speak Italian?
- Dean Ross: Second generation
- Carmela Soprano: [surprised] Really? Ross?
- Dean Ross: [referring to his family's original surname] Rosetti: a thousand years of a proud name undone with one stroke of a pen at Ellis Island
- Carmela Soprano: [smiles] A Paisan
- Dean Ross: Not far from you either, New Brunswick
- Carmela Soprano: [surprised] Get out
- Dean Ross: Any success I may have, I credit to the Jersey public schools: they were something in those days
- Carmela Soprano: And where did you go to college?
- Dean Ross: Rutgers
- Carmela Soprano: I went to Montclair State
- Dean Ross: Good school, what was your major?
- Carmela Soprano: Business Administration
- Dean Ross: [proposing a toast] To Meadow Soprano: a valuable addition to the Columbia community
- Carmela Soprano: Really?
- Dean Ross: Absolutely. I don't know her personally but I've talked to her professors and they say she's attentive, inquiring, does all her work, and makes insightful contributions to class discussions
- Carmela Soprano: I am so glad to hear you say that and here I was worried about her adjusting
- Dean Ross: Let's not tell her though: we don't want her overconfident
- Carmela Soprano: It seems like she sleeps an awful lot
- Dean Ross: They all do
- Dean Ross: [while having lunch] So do your children feel "boxed in" by the city?
- Dean Ross: We're out all the time. Lately, Felisha has us all kayaking in the Hudson
- Carmela Soprano: You all do it? Together?
- Dean Ross: Yeah, kids love it too: their already better at it than I am. More wine?
- Carmela Soprano: Why not?
- Dean Ross: Remember how I told you I spent about half my time involved in student affairs? Well... this is how I spend the other half
- Carmela Soprano: Taking parents to lunch?
- Dean Ross: "Development" fancy word for "fundraising"
- Dean Ross: [after taking out the brochure and showing it to her] The new student center: we break ground next fall. See the large black marble right next to the entrance?
- Carmela Soprano: Yes
- Dean Ross: That's where the donor names will be inscribed
- Carmela Soprano: Everybody who donates will get their name up there?
- Dean Ross: The wall is reserved for people whose commitment begins at the fifty-thousand-dollar level
- Carmela Soprano: [surprised] Fifty thousand?
- Dean Ross: It's what the gifting community thought you'd be comfortable with?
- Dean Ross: [when she doesn't respond] Based on your past generosity to the Verbum Dei school
- Carmela Soprano: You know what we gave to Verbum Dei?
- Dean Ross: [before handing her a folder] I'm half embarrassed to say it but it's my job to know. All the information including tax benefits is in here
- Carmela Soprano: Well, I will have to talk to my husband
- Paulie 'Walnuts' Gualtieri: [referring to Christopher] You go too easy on him
- Tony Soprano: Probably
- Paulie 'Walnuts' Gualtieri: If my nephew wasn't dead, I'd have a "soft spot" for him
- Tony Soprano: [referring to Adriana] You sniff that girl's panties?
- Paulie 'Walnuts' Gualtieri: [after Tony nods] He told you that? Fuckin baby
- Tony Soprano: You gotta apologize
- Paulie 'Walnuts' Gualtieri: I'm not apologizing
- Tony Soprano: Were out of line: his gonna marry the girl for Christ's sake
- Paulie 'Walnuts' Gualtieri: As of the wedding day, anything that touches her pussy is off limits
- Tony Soprano: [after seeing her wrapped in a blanket, lying on the couch in the living room] You sick?
- Carmela Soprano: Everybody in this family sleeps all day, I thought I'd try it
- Tony Soprano: You... depressed? Or what? If you wanted to go to therapy on your own or something, I noticed you've been a little tense lately
- Carmela Soprano: that's rich: you're suggesting I go to a shrink. I don't have the time, I'll go to yours if you want?
- Tony Soprano: You know best
- Carmela Soprano: [referring to the dean from Meadow's university] That dean called today
- Tony Soprano: [sarcastically] Well, that can't be good
- Carmela Soprano: [referring to a donation she promised him] I told him to put us down for the fifty thousand
- Tony Soprano: I gave five. Alright, maybe I can go another five? Maybe ten? But that's enough
- Carmela Soprano: [rolls over to face him] You gotta do something nice for me today: this is what I want, you gotta do this
- Tony Soprano: Alright, I'll go to ten, that should be enough for those Morningside Heights gangsters
- Carmela Soprano: I already told him fifty
- Tony Soprano: Fifty G's?
- Carmela Soprano: Yes
- Tony Soprano: [feeling guilty] You look like you could use a night off from cooking, what'd you say we go out?
- Tony Soprano: [answering Carmela about donating money to Meadow's college] I won't pay. I don't do much about extortion