- Meadow Soprano: This country's light-years behind the rest of the world. Most civilized countries have legalized prostitution.
- Tony Soprano: Don't you got somewhere to be?
- Meadow Soprano: I mean, it's a joke. Look what they're putting the President through.
- Carmela Soprano: He deserved what he got.
- Anthony 'A.J.' Soprano, Jr.: He got Monica Lewinsky and the broad with the long nose.
- Meadow Soprano: I just don't think sex should be a punishable offense.
- Tony Soprano: You know honey, that's where I agree with you. I don't think sex should be a punishable offense either. But I do think talking about sex at the breakfast table is a punishable offense. So no more sex talk, OK?
- Meadow Soprano: It's the 90s. Parents are supposed to discuss sex with their children.
- Tony Soprano: Yeah, but that's where you're wrong. You see out there it's the 1990s but in this house it's 1954.
- [points to the window]
- Tony Soprano: 1990s.
- [points to the floor]
- Tony Soprano: 1954. So now and forever, I don't want to hear any more sex talk, OK?
- Christopher Moltisanti: Why the fuck would Pussy run? I mean, the guy's outta breath liftin' his dick up to take a leak.
- Tony Soprano: So your father tells me you're takin' up astronomy in college.
- Kevin Bompensiero: No, business.
- Tony Soprano: Well, how come he keeps sayin' you're takin' up space in school?
- Salvatore 'Big Pussy' Bonpensiero: [laughs] Madon'. Don't make me laugh. Kills my back.
- Tony Soprano: He's a good lookin' kid. Sure he's yours?
- Tony Soprano: [regarding Makazian] What did he come here for? Therapy?
- Debbie: You could say that.
- Tony Soprano: Instead of a couch you use a bed? It's not a bad idea.
- Debbie: Hey, who wouldn't want to sleep with their shrink?
- Tony Soprano: ...What does that mean?
- Carmela Soprano: You know, Ma, your son loves you very much. He worries all the time. And he felt bad that you didn't come to the open house. I don't care if you think it's disrespectful, but I want you to cut the drama. It's killing Tony.
- Livia Soprano: What are you talking about?
- Carmela Soprano: I'm talking about this. This "poor mother, nobody loves me" victim crap. It is textbook manipulation. And I hate seeing Tony so upset over it.
- Livia Soprano: I know how to talk to people.
- Carmela Soprano: I am a mother too, don't forget. You know the power that you have. And you use it like a pro.
- Livia Soprano: Power? What power? I don't have power! I'm a shut-in!
- Carmela Soprano: You're bigger than life. You are his mother. I don't think for one second that you don't know what you're doing to him.
- Livia Soprano: Who me? Me? What did I do?
- Silvio Dante: Look, T, if my vote counts for anything, I cannot believe that Pussy would fear the can enough to hurt his friends.
- Tony Soprano: That's what they said about Gravano.
- Mikey Palmice: I may be getting bumped up. A notch or two. Tony Soprano's on his way out, and I mean as in forever.
- JoJo Palmice: Oh my god. He's going to jail?
- Mikey Palmice: Nah, the other forever.
- JoJo Palmice: Does Junior know?
- Mikey Palmice: [chuckles and shakes his head] Oh, jeez.
- Tony Soprano: you know, I was on a good run then boom! I don't know it's like I'm walking down the street and I'm looking up because I feel like a safe is going to land on my head
- Dr. Jennifer Melfi: A feeling of a pending doom?
- Tony Soprano: Let me ask you a question: this "mental stuff" could cause physical problems right?
- Dr. Jennifer Melfi: Are you having any physical problems?
- Tony Soprano: No I'm fine but I got a "friend", a dear dear "friend" and I'm concerned about him
- Dr. Jennifer Melfi: What's wrong with him?
- Tony Soprano: It's his back, see his complaining about his back but I think the doctor thinks it's all in his head
- Dr. Jennifer Melfi: It's very possible
- Tony Soprano: What'd you think?
- Dr. Jennifer Melfi: I think we should just keep this about you
- Tony Soprano: This is about me
- Dr. Jennifer Melfi: Every time I offer my opinion on any of your friends it seems to interfere with our therapy and you start cursing and screaming
- Tony Soprano: What kind of mental stuff would cause a back ache?
- Dr. Jennifer Melfi: For "conversation" sake?
- Tony Soprano: Absolutely
- Dr. Jennifer Melfi: For some people the pain is caused by more responsibility than they can handle
- Tony Soprano: [Nods] that makes sense, his got a lot of bills, a lot of problems with his kid's "school fund"
- Dr. Jennifer Melfi: Secrets
- Tony Soprano: What'd you mean?
- Dr. Jennifer Melfi: Psychologically a secret is a heavy load, it leads to feelings of guilt which further burdens the mind
- Paulie 'Walnuts' Gualtieri: [referring to Salvatore 'Big Pussy' Bonpensiero] There isn't even anything wrong with his back
- Tony Soprano: What'd you mean?
- Paulie 'Walnuts' Gualtieri: Remember that guy hit me in the head with that pool cue and I fucked my neck up?
- Tony Soprano: Yeah, down at the shore
- Paulie 'Walnuts' Gualtieri: Right, I went to this doctor, this guy works on the Jets frontline when they get hurt. "He's like the fuckin "Jonas Salk" of backs. Anyway, I sent Pussy to this doctor, the guy gives him the "works", MRI's, CAT scans, dog scans, you name it and he says not a fuckin thing wrong with his back
- Paulie 'Walnuts' Gualtieri: [when Tony doesn't respond] Then again, he says "When it comes to backs, nobody knows anything really".
- Mikey Palmice: Hey, babe. Look what Chucky brought us.
- JoJo Palmice: Another kitchen appliance. Whoop-fuckin'-pee.
- Mikey Palmice: Then slit ya wrists, why don't ya?
- Chucky Signore: Truck load fell off the loading dock at Zim's last night.
- JoJo Palmice: It's not even a Bra-oon.
- Mikey Palmice: [sighs] That's a Braun, babe.