- Ariel: You ever heard of the Masada? For two years, 900 Jews held their own against 15,000 Roman soldiers. They chose death before enslavement. The Romans? Where are they now?
- Tony Soprano: You're looking at them, asshole.
- Mikey Palmice: I think you shoulda taken care of this Christopher Moltisanti thing the minute it first happened. You shoulda sent a clear-cut signal so they know you fuck with Junior Soprano...
- Corrado 'Junior' Soprano: Take it easy! We're not making a western here.
- Livia Soprano: So what's really on your mind, Corrado?
- Corrado 'Junior' Soprano: This Christopher Moltisanti.
- Livia Soprano: Christopher! What about him?
- Corrado 'Junior' Soprano: Him and his little, uh, friend. They're slappin' me in the face and they're hiding behind Tony.
- Livia Soprano: Well, Tony always loved Christopher like a son. And so do I, Junior. He put up my storm windows for me one year.
- Corrado 'Junior' Soprano: [frustrated] Good. But what do I do? I just let him and this Filone kid piss on me in public? And how far do I go before I light a friggin' match under that hot-headed son of yours?
- Livia Soprano: Maybe Christopher could use a little talking to. You know. The other one? Filone?
- [shrugs]
- Livia Soprano: I don't know.
- Corrado 'Junior' Soprano: You have a lot of sense for an old gal.
- Livia Soprano: No, I'm a babbling idiot. That's why my son put me in a nursing home.
- Ariel: See, I sweated blood into this place and he owes me. And, uh, I intend to get what's mine. So please, don't embarrass yourself any further. Just leave.
- Paulie 'Walnuts' Gualtieri: I'm not embarrassed.
- [to Silvio]
- Paulie 'Walnuts' Gualtieri: You embarrassed?
- Silvio Dante: [shakes head]
- Paulie 'Walnuts' Gualtieri: [slams Ariel's head against the front desk] Listen to me, you weirdo fuck! You give Shlomo whatever the fuck he wants and you forget this 50% shit. You got nothin' comin' to ya. Nothin'! You understand me? Nothin'!
- Ariel: Fuck you!
- Silvio Dante: Bupkis. Say "bupkis", Paulie.
- Paulie 'Walnuts' Gualtieri: What?
- Silvio Dante: That's how they say "nothin'".
- Paulie 'Walnuts' Gualtieri: [grabs desk bell] Fuck that. This is how I say nothin'.
- [bangs the bell against Ariel's head repeatedly]
- Paulie 'Walnuts' Gualtieri: How's that for nothin'?
- [continues banging]
- Corrado Erico 'Uncle Junior' Soprano: Did you hear the one about the Chinese Godfather? He makes you an offer you can't understand.
- [Tony calls Hesh]
- Hesh Rabkin: Yeah.
- Tony Soprano: I'm here with my non-shellfish eatin' friend. I gotta tell you somethin', I'm tapped out. This guy won't listen to reason.
- Hesh Rabkin: Didn't I tell you, huh? Didn't I warn you to keep away from those fanatics?
- Tony Soprano: He's leaving me no options. This guy's willing to go down with the ship like no man I've ever seen.
- Hesh Rabkin: Here's a thought... Maybe he's willing to go to the world to come, but if he's stuck here on this earth, I know one thing that no man wants to go through life without.
- Tony Soprano: What? Oh. That's a fuckin' brilliant idea.
- Hesh Rabkin: Make like a mohel, huh? Finish his bris.
- Tony Soprano: Yeah.
- [hangs up]
- Tony Soprano: Paulie! Get the bolt cutters from out of the trunk! Ariel, we're goin' to Plan B.
- Dr. Jennifer Melfi: How are things?
- Tony Soprano: Good. I had a real good week. Friend of mine's in the hospital. That's never pleasant, but... Otherwise I'm having a good week.
- Dr. Jennifer Melfi: What's he in for?
- Tony Soprano: First they thought it was an ulcer. You know, then this and that.
- Dr. Jennifer Melfi: You worried about him?
- Tony Soprano: Jackie? Jackie's so fucking mean, he'll scare that cancer away.
- Dr. Jennifer Melfi: [about Jackie's condition] From what you're telling me it doesn't sound very good.
- Tony Soprano: From what I'm telling you? Well, what the fuck do I know? I'm not a doctor.
- Dr. Jennifer Melfi: You're angry. Who with?
- Tony Soprano: Let me tell you something. This man has had chemo every day for three fuckin' weeks and he still has every last hair on his head. Every last hair on his head and he's got a beautiful head of hair. So don't tell me about how it sounds because you don't know him and you don't know me and you don't know what the fuck you're talkin' about!
- Dr. Jennifer Melfi: What's happening is we're getting closer to your confronting your true feelings about what's really going on here.
- Tony Soprano: Wait a minute, wait a minute. I just told you my true feelings. So why don't you tell me what's really goin' on.
- Dr. Jennifer Melfi: The tree in the painting rotted out, you said. There's nothing in that picture to indicate that.
- Tony Soprano: The fucking painting. I knew that painting was a scam. I knew that painting was a fuckin' scam!
- Dr. Jennifer Melfi: You remember your dream? The ducks? It took on another meaning. What happens to a tree that's rotted out?
- Tony Soprano: Trees, ducks. What the fuck are you, Ranger Rick? I'll tell you, some job you shrinks got! You think everybody is lying to you while you're pulling scams on them! Fuck you!
- [walks out]
- Mr. Teittleman: Do you have a daughter, Mr. Soprano?
- Tony Soprano: Yes. Call me Tony.
- Mr. Teittleman: What would you do if your daughter was abused by her husband?
- Tony Soprano: I'd talk to him.
- Silvio Dante: Yeah, in "Ball Peen Hammer".
- Hunter Scangarelo: [Attempting to buy drugs from Christopher, referring to her and Meadow] we want to "score" some crystal
- Brendan Filone: Yeah? You got money?
- Christopher Moltisanti: Shut up, you ain't giving them shit
- Meadow Soprano: Why not?
- Christopher Moltisanti: How about for starters your father will put a bullet in my head? Since when do you take speed anyway?
- Hunter Scangarelo: She doesn't, I need it to study for exams
- Christopher Moltisanti: Yeah right, Hunter needs it. Forget about it, no fuckin way
- Hunter Scangarelo: [to Brendan after he nods and winks at her] what?
- Meadow Soprano: [to Hunter, referring to Brendan] he just craves attention
- Meadow Soprano: [to Christopher] fine, I just thought I'd ask you before going down to Jefferson Avenue
- Christopher Moltisanti: Those mulligan's will rob you, rape you, and leave on the side of the road
- Meadow Soprano: [to Adriana] I don't know what you see in him
- Christopher Moltisanti: Money, what'd you think?
- Adriana La Cerva: Fuck you. I got my own money
- Meadow Soprano: [while leaving] see ya Christopher
- Brendan Filone: [to Hunter and Meadow, before Meadow gives him the middle finger] what about me? Nobody's going to say goodbye to me?
- Meadow Soprano: [to Christopher and Adriana] Bye
- Hunter Scangarelo: [to Christopher and Adriana] Bye
- Adriana La Cerva: [while letting them out the door] bye guys
- Adriana La Cerva: [to Christopher, implying the drug dealers will substitute the drugs for other chemicals] you can't let her go down to Jefferson Avenue, they'll sell her Ajax
- Christopher Moltisanti: She's not going to go down there, she's just trying to get me to give her some speed
- Adriana La Cerva: Isn't better if she gets it from you with all that poison that's floating around?
- Corrado 'Junior' Soprano: What else did Comley say?
- Mikey Palmice: Nothing much, there was some stuff missing from the truck but he didn't give a fuck as long as it brings back, you know? Oh, then he said to tell Tony Thank you and if there's anything Tony needs, we should give him a call
- Corrado 'Junior' Soprano: [surprised, referring to Christopher and Brendan] Tony? Those fuckin junkie fucks, they work for Tony, they hijack Comley's truck, I get it back and Comley's thanking Tony?
- Mikey Palmice: I think you should've taken care of this Christopher Moltisanti thing the minute it first happened. You should've sent a clear cut signal so they know you fuck with Junior Soprano...
- Corrado 'Junior' Soprano: [interrupts him] Take it easy! We're not making a western here
- Corrado 'Junior' Soprano: Fuckin family, I bought his kid a four hundred dollar surfboard for his birthday