- [Christopher calls Tony from a phone booth, while it's raining]
- Tony Soprano: What do you got?
- Christopher Moltisanti: Wet shoes.
- Tony Soprano: You chose this life. You don't want to work in the rain, try for the fucking Yankees.
- Meadow Soprano: Are you in the Mafia?
- Tony Soprano: Am I in the what?
- Meadow Soprano: Whatever you want to call it. Organized crime.
- Tony Soprano: That's total crap, who told you that?
- Meadow Soprano: Dad, I've lived in the house all my life. I've seen the police come with warrants. I've seen you going out at three in the morning.
- Tony Soprano: So you never seen Doc Cusamano going out at three in the morning on a call?
- Meadow Soprano: Did the Cusamano kids ever find $50,000 in krugerrandts and a .45 automatic while they were hunting for Easter eggs?
- Tony Soprano: I'm in the waste management business. Everybody immediately assumes you're mobbed up. It's a stereotype. And it's offensive. And you're the last person I would want to perpetuate it... There is no Mafia.
- Meadow Soprano: Fine.
- Tony Soprano: Alright look, Mead, you're a grown woman, almost. Some of my money comes from illegal gambling and whatnot. How does that make you feel?
- Meadow Soprano: At least you don't keep denying it, like Mom. Kids in school think it's actually kinda neat.
- Tony Soprano: They seen "The Godfather", right?
- Meadow Soprano: Not really. "Casino" we like, Sharon Stone, the 70's clothes, pills...
- Tony Soprano: I'm not asking about those bums. I'm asking about you.
- Meadow Soprano: Sometimes I wish you were like other dads. But then, like... Mr. Scangarelo for example? An advertising executive for big tobacco. Or lawyers? So many dads are full of shit.
- Tony Soprano: Oh, and I'm not.
- Meadow Soprano: You finally told the truth about this.
- Tony Soprano: Look, Mead, part of my income comes from legitimate businesses, stock market...
- Meadow Soprano: Look, Dad, please, okay? Don't start mealy-mouthing.
- Tony Soprano: [regarding Father Phil] What you guys do for twelve hours? Play, uh, "Name That Pope"?
- Carmela Soprano: He gave me communion.
- Tony Soprano: Oh, I bet he gave you communion.
- Carmela Soprano: Excuse me?
- Tony Soprano: Well, Carmela, the guy spends the night here with you and all he does is slip you a wafer?
- Carmela Soprano: That's verging on sacrilege.
- Tony Soprano: Oh, I didn't mean to verge.
- Carmela Soprano: I was thinking about when we watched "Casablanca" last week.
- Father Phil Intintola: That new print is great, huh?
- Carmela Soprano: You know when Bogie says "Of all the lousy gin joints in the world, why did you have to pick mine."? Of all the finook priests in the world, why did I have to get the one who's straight?
- Tony Soprano: There was a time, Mead, when the Italian people didn't have a lot of options.
- Meadow Soprano: You mean like Mario Cuomo?
- [Tony stares at her]
- Meadow Soprano: Sorry.
- Tony Soprano: You know I put food on the table. My father was in it. My uncle was in it. Maybe I was too lazy to think for myself. To consider myself... A rebel. Maybe being a rebel in my family would have been selling patio furniture on route 22.
- Tony Soprano: [Tony strangles "Fred Peters" with a wire from behind] Good morning rat!
- Fred Peters: [struggling] Who are you? What is this?
- Tony Soprano: Don't make me laugh! You pimp! You fuck!
- Fred Peters: Teddy, there must be something we can...
- Tony Soprano: Tony! It's Tony, you fuck! You know how much trouble you're in now? You took an oath, and you BROKE it!
- Fred Peters: I could have killed you last night outside the motel. Your daughter was drunk, remember? I was out at the parking lot, I had a gun, but I didn't do it. Because then I told myself
- [crying for his life]
- Fred Peters: "It's just a coincidence! He's taking his little girl to college!"
- Tony Soprano: Well you know about us wiseguys? The hustle never ends. If you shot me at that motel, your life would have been flushed out on the pisciadood!
- Tony Soprano: Jimmy says "Hello" from hell, you fuck!
- [Tony strangles Fred Peters to death]
- Tony Soprano: [over the phone] Hey, I'm not sure but I think I just saw Fabian Petrulio
- Christopher Moltisanti: Refresh my memory
- Tony Soprano: What was it, before your time? Made guy, flipped about ten years ago: got busted for peddling H. Rat fuck took out a lot of people from our outfit. My old man was sick: he never recovered when he heard the news
- Christopher Moltisanti: You sure you saw this guy?
- Tony Soprano: That's what I'm saying. I think I did but I'm not sure
- Christopher Moltisanti: Up in Maine, what the fuck?
- Tony Soprano: He went into the witness protection program, then they kicked him out. Now he goes to colleges, gets paid all kinds of money to talk about what a big bad Mafioso he was
- Christopher Moltisanti: Piece of shit
- Tony Soprano: Febby and me partied couple times but Jackie Aprile knew him real good: we did a couple counts together up in Lewisburg. As a matter of fact, you know that bust that was in his rec room of Sinatra? Febby made it for him in a prison workshop
- Carmela Soprano: And I thought he was changing. I thought therapy was gonna help clear up the f*' freak show in his head.
- Father Phil Intintola: Carmela, I'm sure you're wrong about them. Therapy is a start. A good start. But, yes, it doesn't fix the soul. He's gonna need help from other sources to repair that.
- Carmela Soprano: Well, then you talk to him. You help him.
- Father Phil Intintola: But, well, there you go. Will he listen.