The Simpsons (TV Series)
The Springfield Files (1997)
Harry Shearer: Lenny, Mr. Burns, Smithers, Jasper, Dr. Hibbert, Alien, Marvin the Martian, Frogs, Kent Brockman, Ned Flanders, Reverend Lovejoy, T-Shirts Clerk
Photos
Quotes
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Alien : I bring you love.
Lenny : It's bringing love, don't let it get away!
Carl : Break its legs.
[everyone starts to advance on the alien]
Lisa : Wait! You want an alien? This is your alien.
[Shines torch on alien to reveal Mr. Burns in a twisted and disoriented state]
Mr. Burns : [in a high-toned voice] Hello, children. I bring you love.
Willy : Argh. It's a monster. Kill it, kill it!
Smithers : It's not a monster, it's Mr. Burns!
Willy : Aww, it's Mr. Burns! KILL IT! KILL IT!
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Rev. Lovejoy : I remember another gentle visitor from the heavens. He came in peace, and then died... only to come back to life. And his name was: E.T., the extra-terrestrial. I love that little guy.
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Kent Brockman : The alien has appeared in the same Springfield pasture the past two Friday nights. Will it appear again this Friday? The entire Channel 6 news team will be there, except for Phil, the boom mike operator, who's getting fired tomorrow.
[boom mike hits Kent]
Kent Brockman : Very unprofessional, Phil.
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Alien : I bring you peace.
Homer : As a representative of planet Earth, let me be the first to say...
[realizing his leg is on fire, he screams and tries to put it out]
Homer : [the alien leaves] D'oh! It's gone. And we still don't have any proof.
Bart Simpson : [holding up Flanders' camcorder] Oh, yes, we do. I got it all on tape.
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Kent Brockman : Tonight, on "Eyewitness News," a man who's been in a coma for 23 years wakes up.
Coma patient : [in his hospital bed] Do Sonny and Cher still have that stupid show?
Kent Brockman : No. Uh, she won an Oscar, and he's a congressman.
Coma patient : Good night!
[his heart rate monitor flatlines]
Kent Brockman : [back in the studio] But first, E.T. phone Homer... Simpson, that is.
Homer : Marge! Kids! They're about to show my videotape.
Kent Brockman : Local man Homer Simpson, shown here with his tongue stuck to a lamppost, has given us this videotape. It's a close encounter of the blurred kind.
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Bart Simpson : Well, Lise, what do you think about the alien now?
Lisa : I think there must be a more logical explanation, and I think the people of this town aren't going to be won over by three seconds of videotape.
Homer : [hearing the doorbell, he opens the front door to see a group of townspeople outside] Uh... I'm happy to answer any questions you have about the alien. Any questions at all.
[Dr. Hibbert raises his hand]
Homer : Dr. Hibbert?
Dr. Hibbert : Yes, is the alien carbon-based or silicon-based?
Homer : Uh... the second one. Zilliphone. Next question.
Barney : Is the alien Santa Claus?
Homer : Uh... yes.
Ned Flanders : Uh, were you on my roof last night stealing my weather vane?
Homer : This interview is over!
[as he goes back inside and slams the door, said weather vane falls to the ground]
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Scully : Mr. Simpson, look at this lineup and tell us if any of these are the aliens you saw.
Alf : [in line with Marvin the Martian, Chewbacca, either Kang or Kodos, and Gort from "The Day the Earth Stood Still"] Yo!
Homer : No, I'm sorry.
Marvin the Martian : [grumbling as they all leave] Oh, this makes me very angry.
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Alien : I bring you love.
Dr. Hibbert : Is that the love between a man and a woman? Or the love of a man for a cuban cigar?
Alien : Uh... I bring you love.
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Mr. Burns : A lifetime of working in a nuclear power plant has given me a healthy green glow... and left me as impotent as a Nevada boxing commissioner. And now that I'm back to normal, I don't bring you peace and love. I bring you fear, famine, pestilence, and...
Dr. Nick Riviera : Time for a booster!
Mr. Burns : Good morning starshine...
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Bart : Leonard Nimoy? What are you doing here?
Leonard Nimoy : Wherever there is mystery and the unexplained, cosmic forces shall draw me near.
Bart : [flippantly] Uh-huh.
Hot Dog Vendor : Hey Spock, what do you want on your hot dog?
Leonard Nimoy : Surprise me.
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Jasper : Thank god it's Wednesday.
[takes his pills]
Mrs. Glick : It's Friday.
Jasper : [looks at his empty cup] Uh-oh... wrong pills.
[Jasper sprouts hair until he looks like an old sasquatch]
Jasper : Little help?