The Simpsons (TV Series)

E-I-E-I-(Annoyed Grunt) (1999)

Dan Castellaneta: Homer Simpson, Squeaky-Voiced Teen, Musketeer, Man in the Iron Mask, Scarlet Pimpernel, King Arthur, Man in Line #1, Man in Line #2

Quotes 

• Homer : Go get Lassie!

  Bart : Lassie?

  Homer : I mean Lisa.

• [observing the farm's green glow after Homer put plutonium on it] 

  Marge : It's eerily beautiful. Are you sure it's safe?

  Homer : You know what they say - sometimes you have to break the rules to free your heart.

  Marge : You got that from a movie poster.

  Homer : Well, when there's nothing left to believe in, believe in hope.

  Marge : Where'd you get that from?

  Homer : From the producers of "Waiting To Exhale".

• [Homer has just been shot] 

  Lisa : You know, Dad, that's probably something you should go to the hospital for.

  Homer : After pie.

• Marge : Is that plutonium on your gums?

  Homer : Shut up and kiss me!

• Homer Simpson : oh this farms hopeless why dident i listin to those inbred hicks?

• Homer : [Offering Tomacco]  Try some, won't you?

  Chief Wiggum : Go ahead, Ralpie; the stranger is offering you a treat!

  Ralph : [Ralphie tries some, and spits it back out]  Oh, Daddy! It tastes like Grandma!

  Chief Wiggum : [Tries some, and spits it out]  Holy Moses! It DOES taste like Grandma!

  Ralph : I want more!

  Chief Wiggum : Yeah, me too!

  [Ralphie starts eating more] 

  Chief Wiggum : Should we take a bushel or a peck, or - just give it to me!

  [Eats] 

  Homer : [Chuckles] 

• Homer : Pistols at dawn? Aaw, why did I have to slap a guy who says Suh?

• [Snake pushes past Marge as the moviegoers leave the cinema after "The Poke of Zorro"] 

  Snake : Move it, Q-tip!

  Homer : Why, that little - he insulted your honor!

  [grabs a glove from a janitor's back pocket and approaches Snake as he lights a cigarette] 

  Homer : Sir, I demand satisfaction!

  [slaps Snake across the face, knocking his cigarette out of his mouth] 

  Snake : Are you crazy, dude?

  Homer : I challenge you to a duel!

  [slaps him again] 

  Snake : [chuckling]  The dude *is* crazy!

  Homer : [threatens to slap again]  Will you duel, or are you a coward?

  Snake : Would a coward do this?

  [seemingly reaches for a gun] 

  Snake : Bye!

  [runs away as the moviegoers cheer] 

  Marge : [kissing Homer on the cheek]  My hero!

  [Homer grabs a ketchup bottle from a concession stand and squirts it to form the shape of an "H" on Marge's dress] 

  Homer : "H" is for Homer!

  Marge : [annoyed]  Thanks, Homer.

• Homer : Ooh, you don't wanna get Zorro mad.

  Marge : You're pouring hot butter on my leg!

  Homer : Ssh-sh-sh!

• Farmer #1 : Well, well. Look at the city slicker pulling up in his fancy German car.

  Homer : This car was made in Guatemala.

  Farmer #2 : Well, pardon us, mister Gucci loafers.

  Homer : I bought these shoes from a hobo.

  Farmer #1 : Well, lah-di-dah, mister Park Avenue manicure.

  Homer : I'm sorry, I believe in good grooming.

• Homer : [while cutting the Kwik-E-Mart queue and slapping people]  Comin' through, challenge, duel. Hi Lenny, how are ya? Demand satisfaction.

  Colonel : Sir, your challenge is accepted!

  Homer : ..Huh?

  Colonel : I agree to the duel sir! I choose pistols at dawn.

• Homer : Oh honey, I had the worst nightmare - this glove kept slapping people and I was getting blamed!