- Charlotte York: Carrie, I love you. But it is not my job to fix your finances. You are a thire-five-year-old woman. You have to learn how to stand on your own.
- Carrie Bradshaw: New York is a town of renters. Everybody rents.
- Miranda Hobbes: I don't.
- Samantha Jones: I don't.
- Charlotte York: I don't.
- Carrie Bradshaw: [to Charlotte] You got yours in a settlement. You did not have to pay for your apartment.
- Charlotte York: Oh, I paid for that apartment.
- Miranda Hobbes: [Farts twice] I'm pregnant. I can't control it.
- Samantha Jones: Well, honey, you better learn because that is unappetizing.
- Miranda Hobbes: I know. I am so swollen and gassy, I'm like a floatation device.
- Carrie Bradshaw: What's that smell?
- Miranda Hobbes: Sorry. I've learned to control the sound now but not the activity.
- Carrie Bradshaw: Well that's just mean. Damn. How are people going to know to scatter without a warning?
- Miranda Hobbes: Although maybe it's not that I've controlled the noise as much as my ass is so big that the sound is now muffled. Look at my fingers. They're like sausages. I can't even get my ring off. I'm telling you, the fat ass, the farting, it's ridiculous. I am unfuckable. And I have never been so horny in my entire life.
- Miranda Hobbes: [Farts while trying to pull her ring off] I pulled my own finger. I'm a walking whoopee cushion.
- [first lines]
- Carrie Bradshaw: [narrating] A girl in pigtails once said, "There's no place like home." But then, her home didn't have a toilet that flushed for no reason. And a boyfriend who was moving out for one big reason.
- Carrie Bradshaw: New York is a town of renters. Everybody rents.
- Samantha Jones: I don't.
- Miranda Hobbes: I don't.
- Charlotte York: I don't.
- Carrie Bradshaw: [to Charlotte] You got yours in a settlement. You did not have to pay for your apartment.
- Charlotte York: Oh, I paid for that apartment.
- Miranda Hobbes: [Farts twice] I'm pregnant. I can't control it.
- Samantha Jones: Well, honey, you better learn because that is unappetizing.
- Miranda Hobbes: I know. I am so swollen and gassy, I'm like a floatation device.
- Carrie Bradshaw: What's that smell?
- Samantha Jones: Sorry. I've learned to control the sound now but not the activity.
- Carrie Bradshaw: Well that's just mean. Damn. How are people going to know to scatter without a warning?
- Samantha Jones: Although maybe it's not that I've controlled the noise as much as my ass is so big that the sound is now muffled. Look at my fingers. They're like sausages. I can't even get my ring off. I'm telling you, the fat ass, the farting, it's ridiculous. I am unfuckable. And I have never been so horny in my entire life.
- Samantha Jones: [Farts while trying to pull her ring off] I pulled my own finger. I'm a walking whoopee cushion.