- George Costanza: Good afternoon. One large crab bisque to go.
- [gets his soup and looks inside]
- George Costanza: Bread. Beautiful.
- Soup Nazi: You're pushing your luck little man.
- George Costanza: Sorry. Thank you.
- [leaves]
- Elaine Benes: Hi there. Um, uh -
- [drumming on countertop]
- Elaine Benes: Oh! Oh! Oh! One mulligatawny and, um... what is that right there? Is that lima bean?
- Soup Nazi: Yes.
- Elaine Benes: Never been a big fan.
- [coughing]
- Elaine Benes: Um... you know what? Has anyone ever told you you look exactly like Al Pacino? You know, "Scent Of A Woman." Who-ah! Who-ah!
- Soup Nazi: Very good. Very good.
- Elaine Benes: Well, I...
- Soup Nazi: You know something?
- Elaine Benes: Hmmm?
- Soup Nazi: NO SOUP FOR YOU!
- Elaine Benes: What?
- Soup Nazi: COME BACK ONE YEAR! NEXT!
- George Costanza: [Soup Nazi gives him a look] Medium turkey chili.
- [instantly moves to the cashier]
- Jerry Seinfeld: Medium crab bisque.
- George Costanza: [looks in his bag and notices no bread in it] I didn't get any bread.
- Jerry Seinfeld: Just forget it. Let it go.
- George Costanza: Um, excuse me, I - I think you forgot my bread.
- Soup Nazi: Bread, $2 extra.
- George Costanza: $2? But everyone in front of me got free bread.
- Soup Nazi: You want bread?
- George Costanza: Yes, please.
- Soup Nazi: $3!
- George Costanza: What?
- Soup Nazi: NO SOUP FOR YOU!
- [snaps his fingers. The cashier instantly takes George's soup and gives him back his money]
- Jerry Seinfeld: What are you gonna get?
- Sheila: I'll decide at the last minute.
- Jerry Seinfeld: You better decide, sister. You're on deck.
- [Sheila kisses him]
- Jerry Seinfeld: Sheila!
- Soup Nazi: [pounds on the counter hard] HEY!
- Jerry Seinfeld: Uh oh.
- Soup Nazi: What is this? You're kissing in my line? NOBODY KISSES IN MY LINE!
- Sheila: I can kiss anywhere I want to.
- Soup Nazi: You just cost yourself a soup!
- Sheila: HOW DARE YOU! C'mon Jerry, we're leaving.
- [leaves the soup kitchen, but Jerry stays. Sheila comes back in]
- Sheila: Jerry?
- Jerry Seinfeld: Do I know you?
- [Elaine has gotten hold of the Soup Nazi's recipes]
- Elaine Benes: You're through, Soup Nazi! No more soup for *you*.
- [screams]
- Elaine Benes: NEXT!
- [Bob and Ray see the armoire Kramer's guarding]
- Ray: [gasps] Look at this!
- Bob: It's an antique!
- Ray: It's all handmade, and I *love* the inlay!
- Bob: Yes, yes! Me too! Ai it's gorgeous, completely! Pick it up.
- [Ray tries to lift the armoire]
- Bob: No no! Pick it up from the bottom over there.
- Cosmo Kramer: W-W-W-Wait! What are you doing?
- Bob: What does it look like we are doing? We're taking this!
- Cosmo Kramer: You can't take this! It belongs to a friend of mine!
- Bob: Look, you want to get hurt? I don't think you want to get hurt, because if you want to get hurt, I can hurt you! Now just back off!
- Ray: Bob...
- Bob: Just pick it up!
- Cosmo Kramer: What is this, huh?!
- Bob: [yells] You have some kind of problem here? What is it you not understanding? We're taking the armoire, and that's all there is to it! Okay?
- Elaine Benes: Hi. Kramer gave me the armoire and it is so beautiful. I mean, I just can't tell you how much I appreciate it.
- Yev Kassem: You? If I knew it was for you, I never would have given it to him in the first place. I would have taken a hatchet and smashed it to pieces!
- [first lines]
- Jerry Seinfeld: Yes, I'm a very lazy eater. I like... That's why I like soup. First of all, it looks half-digested when they put it down in front of you. So you feel like half the work is done already. I'm hoping Campbell's comes out with, like, an IV line of soup, so you could just jam right into your arm, you know? Campbell's tomato intravenous. Mainline gumbo. Everyone just sitting around at dinner with their soup IV just hanging on the hook there, you know? "How's yours, Grandpa?" Oh, chunky style.
- Jerry Seinfeld: Have you tasted the soup?
- Elaine Benes: Yeah, alright, you made the right decision.
- Jerry Seinfeld: See, the way I figure it, it's much easier to patch things up with Sheila than with the Soup Nazi.
- Jerry Seinfeld: You will be stunned.
- Elaine Benes: Stunned by soup?
- Jerry Seinfeld: You can't eat this soup standing up, you're knees buckle.