- Mr. Elinoff: Miss Benes, cartoons are like gossamer, and one doesn't dissect gossamer.
- Elaine Benes: Well, you don't have to dissect it if you could just tell me why this is supposed to be funny.
- Mr. Elinoff: Oh, it's merely a commentary on contemporary mores.
- Elaine Benes: But what is the comment?
- Mr. Elinoff: It's a slice of life.
- Elaine Benes: No, it isn't.
- Mr. Elinoff: A pun?
- Elaine Benes: I don't think so.
- Mr. Elinoff: Vorshtein?
- Elaine Benes: That's not a word. You have no idea what this means.
- Mr. Elinoff: No.
- Elaine Benes: Then why did you print it?
- Mr. Elinoff: I like the kitty.
- Jerry Seinfeld: Oh no, it's Sally Weaver.
- Cosmo Kramer: Oh! Yeah your old college roommate huh?
- Jerry Seinfeld: No, it's Susan Ross's old college roommate; she moved to New York a few years ago. She's trying to become an actress.
- Cosmo Kramer: Ah, dramatica comedia.
- Jerry Seinfeld: Untalented, She's always inviting me to see her in some bad play in a tiny room without ventilation. It's really depressing.
- Cosmo Kramer: We don't go to enough theater.
- Jerry Seinfeld: She should just give up.
- [Sally approaches]
- Jerry Seinfeld: Hey!
- Sally Weaver: Hey there, mister "too big to come to my shows". I just came from tap, I'm all "Whoo!" I'm on my way to an audition. I'm still looking for that big break.
- Cosmo Kramer: Why don't you just give up.
- Jerry Seinfeld: Kramer.
- Cosmo Kramer: Well that's what Jerry says. Now face it, if it hasn't happened, it's not gonna happen. All right.
- [claps]
- Cosmo Kramer: I'm gonna go grab us a booth. Join us?
- [Kramer leaves]
- Jerry Seinfeld: So... Susan's dead...
- Cosmo Kramer: George, relax. Just because they look alike doesn't mean you're secretly in love with Jerry.
- Elaine Benes: Did you read the comics today?
- Jerry Seinfeld: Well I see Ziggy's back at the complaint department. "The New Yorker's stealing my ideas."
- [laughs]
- Jerry Seinfeld: See, that's funny.
- Cosmo Kramer: [regarding Sally Weaver] I thought you said she stinks.
- Jerry Seinfeld: She DOES stink. And she SHOULD quit. But I don't want it to be because of me. It should be the traditional route: Years of rejections and failures 'til she's spit out the bottom of the porn industry.
- Elaine Benes: She does a full hour about how you're the devil? I gotta go see this thing.
- Jerry Seinfeld: Good luck, it's sold out for the next three weeks.
- Elaine Benes: It's better than your drawings of naked Lois Lane.
- Jerry Seinfeld: Where did you see that? Those are private!