- Jordan Sullivan: [bursting into Dr Cox's apartment] Hi, Honey, I'm home! You should lock your door; there's horrible people out there.
- Dr. Perry Cox: There's horrible people right in here!
- Dr. John 'J.D.' Dorian: Ultimately, I always turn to the person I trust the most. Because I know when he looks me in the eye and says I didn't do anything wrong, I'll actually believe it.
- Dr. Perry Cox: Yep, looks like you screwed the pooch there, Tinkerbell.
- Dr. John 'J.D.' Dorian: But I didn't over-medicate him!
- Dr. Perry Cox: Of course you didn't, and I always check your orders after you make them. But if you're wondering whether or not you treated Mr. Simon differently because he's a complete jerk, well... I think you know the answer to that one already, don't you?
- Dr. John 'J.D.' Dorian: Depends what you mean by different, I...
- Dr. Perry Cox: I have to warn you, I just got dumped in front of my ex-wife not ten minutes ago, okay Betty?
- [beat]
- Dr. Perry Cox: It's always easy to treat the nice ones nice, isn't it?
- Dr. John 'J.D.' Dorian: Uh huh.
- Dr. Perry Cox: But your drug addicts, your child abusers, your garden-variety jerks...
- [he whistles softly]
- Dr. Perry Cox: Man.
- Dr. Perry Cox: Lookit, Newbie, the only way to judge your growth as a doctor -- hell, as a human being -- is by making sure you don't repeat the same mistakes over and over.
- Dr. Elliot Reid: 'My Bunny's a Baby Blue', 'Bunny How Things Change', 'B-U-N-N-Y Spells Love to Me'. Ten songs about "Bunny"; not one song about his wife.
- Dr. Christopher Turk: That's because it's physically impossible to write a love song about anyone named "Enid".
- Dr. Elliot Reid: Turk, don't you get it? This tape shows exactly why Kelso is... Kelso! I mean, he--he used to be this beautiful, wonderful, sweet, caring man; he--he found the love of his life and somehow she slipped through his hands.
- Nurse Carla Espinosa: [moved] Oh, that is so sad.
- Dr. Christopher Turk: Have you guys ever stopped to think that maybe Bunny is just a real bunny?
- Nurse Carla Espinosa: Baby, that's just stupid.
- Dr. Christopher Turk: [Considering this] Yeah, I know.
- Dr. Christopher Turk: Sir... whatever happened to Bunny? We gotta know.
- Dr. Bob Kelso: Well, actually, the music came before Bunny. I learned to play the guitar growing up as a young rapscallion in Mississippi; but things didn't really take off until I moved to Memphis. Then I met the Colonel, and the hits just kept coming! Unfortunately, it went to my head, I gained a lot of weight, started wearing a white jumpsuit and ate tranquilizers like they were trail mix.
- Dr. Elliot Reid: Sir...
- Dr. Bob Kelso: Then, in 1977, I died on the toilet...
- [scary grin]
- Dr. Bob Kelso: Or did I?
- Dr. Christopher Turk: You never played the guitar, did you?
- Dr. Bob Kelso: Son, that crap is for hippies. Now for God's sake, get back to work!
- Dr. Elliot Reid: Yes sir.
- Dr. Bob Kelso: [Elvis] Thank you very much.