Scrubs (TV Series)

My Nickname (2001)

Zach Braff: Dr. John 'J.D.' Dorian

Quotes 

• Dr. John 'J.D.' Dorian : [narrating]  Okay, the only way to avoid the high-five with Todd is not to say anything that he can connect to sex.

  Dr. Todd Quinlan : How you doin'?

  Dr. John 'J.D.' Dorian : [makes a side-to-side "so-so" motion with his hand] 

  Dr. Todd Quinlan : Dude; that's totally how my car was rockin' when I took this girl out last night.

  [makes the same gesture but adds a squeaking sound effect] 

  Dr. Todd Quinlan : Am I right?

  [throws his hand up] 

  Dr. John 'J.D.' Dorian : Ahh, he earned it.

  [holds his hand out] 

  Dr. John 'J.D.' Dorian : *whack*

• Dr. Cox : Everyone, we can all relax now. The planets have been realigned and order shall be returned to the people.

  [to Elliot] 

  Dr. Cox : Hey, you!

  Dr. Elliot Reid : Just... give me two seconds, gotta finish e-mailing Jill.

  Dr. Cox : I have right here your little friend's test results. Shall we have some fun and take a look?

  [opens the chart and read it] 

  Dr. Cox : Hmm, interesting! EKG negative; Tilt Table negative; Echo negative. Nyet, nada, zilch, nothing in fact is wrong with her but little stress and exhaustion, brought on mostly by... oh, let it come... being her!

  Dr. Elliot Reid : Yeah, but if you don't...

  Dr. Cox : No no, no no, no no, no no, no no, no no no... No! There's no time for "Yeah, buts". I want her out of here in the next five minutes or you'll be personally responsible for covering every missed shift during this year's flu season. Now go! Now go! Now go!

  [Elliot goes, J.D. arrives; Cox whistles at him] 

  Dr. Cox : Hey you! For what it's worth I don't care if your beeper plays "Who let the dogs out? Hoof, hoof!" as many times as you like.

  Dr. John 'J.D.' Dorian : Actually, sir, it's "who, who"... but thank you, that... that's great.

  Dr. Cox : Sure. Oh, and Ginger, by the way... just a real smooth move running to your mommy...

  Dr. John 'J.D.' Dorian : Excuse me?

  Dr. Cox : Yeah, your mommy c-rushed me. She did. I'd like to issue a warning to everybody, and I'm dead serious. FYI: J.D.'s mommy has made it perfectly clear that she doesn't want her daughter picked on any more. Nothing mean. She's a precious flower and we should all be super nice to her...