- Dr. Cox: Carla, I have a six-month-old child. I'm going to be one of those weird old guys who brings my son down to the park where everybody is like, "Hmm, is he the dad, is he the granddad, is he the granddad's granddad...? And oh my God, why is he pushing a traffic cone on the swing while his five-year-old little boy is in the mud, crying? Is... is he taunting the little boy? No, he can't even see the little boy. And now look - he's actually taking the traffic cone, putting it in the minivan, and driving away while the little boy cries, and the traffic cone sits quietly and watches Finding Nemo on DVD."
- J.D.: [after having seen Janitor in The Fugitive] You're an actor.
- The Janitor: You're a fireman... What are we doing?
- [J.D. and Carla watches a movie with J.D.'s girlfriend Danni]
- Danni Sullivan: Love "The Fugitive". Who would you rather sleep with, Tommy Lee Jones or Harrison Ford?
- J.D.: Harrison Ford, hands down.
- [the girls look at him]
- J.D.: ...But you were probably talking to Carla. I'm having such a gay day!
- Carla: *Day*?
- Carla: Turk, the night we got engaged, you said you couldn't wait to have kids.
- Dr. Christopher Turk: How can you hold that against me? You were naked!
- Carla: So I should just disregard everything you say when I'm naked?
- Dr. Christopher Turk: You know, that's not actually a bad idea? We can call it The Naked Rule; and it should probably apply retroactively, so, um, you can get yourself to the airport next weekend?
- Carla: [rolling eyes] Fine.
- Dr. Christopher Turk: Gotta love The Naked Rule!
- J.D.: [to the Janitor] You know why I wanted that to be you in "The Fugitive"? Because it would mean you used to be a guy who had dreams and ambitions; and even though things didn't work out the way you'd hoped, at least it would explain why you are the way you are and... make you human. But instead, it turns out you're nothing more than a... a jerk who just likes to mess with people for no reason.