- Dr. Kelso: [drunk at Turk and Carlas wedding reception] Ahh, Dr. Turkleton!
- Chris Turk: Actually, sir, it's Turk.
- Dr. Kelso: That's your first name!
- Chris Turk: You think my name is Turk Turkleton?
- Dr. Kelso: [to Carla] ... and Mrs. Turkleton! The Turkletons! Hehehe...
- [to bartender]
- Dr. Kelso: Give me a scotch.
- Dr. Todd Quinlan: Dude, that pickup line you gave me for all the Spanish chicks is not working.
- Mark Espinosa: Maybe you're saying it wrong. Let's hear it.
- Dr. Todd Quinlan: Yo tengo herpes genital para ti
- [clicks tongue]
- Mark Espinosa: ...nope, that's right. Keep trying.
- [leaves]
- Dr. Todd Quinlan: Mucho herpes! Grande! Oh yeah...
- J.D.: Where're the other bridesmaids?
- Dr. Elliot Reid: They're out buying an eyebrow.
- J.D.: Well, that's gonna be tough on a Saturday, with Eyebrows Eyebrows Eyebrows being closed. They're gonna have to go all the way across town to the Eyebrow Hut.
- J.D.: See, Turk and I made a pact. The day that one of us got married we'd play a last round of tennis-golf in the parking lot as single best friends. Oh, yeah, and the guy getting married has to caddy for the other guy naked
- Chris Turk: If I work this shift, I can finagle two extra days on the honeymoon.
- J.D.: Ooh, nice use of "finagle."
- Chris Turk: Oh, thanks.
- J.D.: Ted! Can you play a little music for us, buddy?
- Ted: It's gonna cost you double what you paid us for the church.
- Chris Turk: [Turk pulls out a bill and hands it to Ted] Here's twenty.
- Ted: [Ted takes it and pulls out a few bills of his own, handing them back] Aaaand, here's four back. So, mind if we start with some TuPac?
- J.D.: Kick it.
- Dr. Elliot Reid: Sean, look, I don't know what J.D. told you, but... if we're gonna give this another try, you need to know that I didn't end things with you because I was freaking out about us living together. I did it because... J.D. and I have this history and... I actually thought he might be the one. But I just ended up getting my heart broken.
- Sean Kelly: Sucks, doesn't it?
- Dr. Elliot Reid: Yeah.
- J.D.: Look, Elliot, just tell me what you want me to do and I'll do it.
- Dr. Elliot Reid: Go back three days and keep me from throwing away my life for you.
- Dr. Elliot Reid: [Elliot lets Sean go] J.D.! It's not happening. Besides, if Sean and I are meant to be together, I never would have gone home with you that night and sabotaged everything that I had with him.
- J.D.: You and I are gonna be okay, right?
- Dr. Elliot Reid: What do you think?
- J.D.: Probably not.
- [She walks off]
- J.D.: Elliot!
- [She stops]
- J.D.: You let me know when we are.
- Dr. Elliot Reid: Don't hold your breath.
- Sean Kelly: So, what have you been up to?
- Dr. Elliot Reid: Doctor stuff. Heh. You?
- Sean Kelly: Oh, I--I was crying a lot. And then I got really emotionally numb. Um, oh, and this morning, I jammed a salad fork two inches into my thigh to see if I could still feel the pain.
- Dr. Elliot Reid: And?
- Sean Kelly: Oh, yeah.
- J.D.: Danni, what are you doing here?
- Danni Sullivan: We RSVP'd when we were still dating.
- J.D.: You can't just crash my best friend's wedding!
- Danni Sullivan: I'll go halvsies on the gift.
- J.D.: Right this way, please.