- Tony Bennett: Fat Joe, I'm gonna have to catch you on the flipside. I wanna say thanks to my guests Robert the neighbor chopper, Angie Dickinson, Richie Sambora, those maxi-pads with 4-wall protection and crazy Pat, the rooster sucker!
- Tony Bennett: Hey, tell 'em that joke, Pat.
- Pat Malonowski: Eh, which one?
- Tony Bennett: That one that made me spit my whiskey sour straight out of my nose.
- Pat Malonowski: Gosh. I don't think there's an appropriate way to tell that one on tv.
- Tony Bennett: That's a real shame, Pat. Its a great, great joke. Couldn't you maybe change up a few of the words a little bit? Change that one word to "kitty cat". And that other word to "rooster sucker"?
- The Falconer: Oh! Oh, Donald! You've returned! Oh, and you've brought my credit card! Where did you find this? I lost this, like, two years ago! Aw, thank you. I'll use the sharpest of its four dull edges to fray the rope! I'll be free within a matter of weeks! And, until that time... you will be the Falcon, and I shall remain...
- Narrator: The Falconer!
- Tina Fey: The long-closed 70th floor of our very own Rockefeller Center is being re-opened as an observation deck. I guess Tom Brokaw and I will have to find a new place to secretly make love.