- Bill Murray: This week, Michael O'Donoghue, one of the original writers and creators of Saturday Night Live, died. He had a tremendous influence on this show and on all of us. He was a writer that the writers, actors, and even the producer, feared. And, in this business, it's better sometimes to be feared than loved. But we're not afraid of him any more, because he's dead. He's dead and he went straight to hell. Just, just to visit the couple people he had to meet uh, Hitler, Stalin, Pol Pot, Richard Speck, and to await the arrival of Pam Grier.
- Angela Tucci: So, Ant'ny.. you're sayin' the traffic conditions goin' into Manhatten are bad this mornin'?
- Anthony: You do what you gotta do, I ain't sayin' nothin'!
- Weekend Update Anchor: Liza Minnelli has gotten word she'll have to have a hip replacement operation. This marks the first time in fifteen years that the name "Liza Minnelli" and the word "hip" have been used in the same sentence.
- Weekend Update Anchor: In an act of conciliation, China released eight political prisoners this week. But they made it clear that the other seventy-nine million would be executed without a trial.