- Trish McLeery: Senator Kennedy, you are a disgusting sex maniac.
- Clarence Thomas: Now, I've seen Disgusting Sex Maniac 1 and Disgusting Sex Maniac 2, but for my money, the best is Disgusting Sex Maniac 3, because it got animals in it.
- Weekend Update Anchor: Startling new evidence suggests the Girl from Ipanema was actually short and pale and old and homely.
- Wayne Campbell: All right, catfight. Go at it, man! Excellent! Saucer of milk, table two. Ding-ding-ding!