- Captain Jim: Well, as I said, I don't know a Nike from a bikey or a likey. But if you're a customer, you tell me your shoesize and I wll locate a pair of shoes that will fit on your feet, end of story.
- Weekend Update Anchor: Today's April 9th, 1994, and that date, 4/9/94 is a palindrome reading the same forward and backward. This is something that happens once a year, like an eclips, the equinox, and Wesley Snipes getting arrested.
- Weekend Update Anchor: Well, Baseball season started up around the country this week, and as part of opening day ceremonies in Los Angeles, Shannen Doherty threw out her first husband.