- The Continental: You know, champagne... is not champagne unless it comes from the province of Champagne. I learned that in Bartending School.
- The Continental: Forgive me if my hungry eyes feast on the banquet of your sumptious decolletage.
- [champagne is thrown in his face]
- The Continental: The champagne you have thrown stings my eyes.
- Weekend Update Anchor: [about Madonna's 1992 coffee table book "Sex"] Thousends of people were arrested by book store police this week, as they tried to buy Sex for fifty dollars. Consumers are advised to wait a year, then they can go to the library and get Sex for free.