- Cecil Jacobson: Aw... why, you're the best kids any fertility doctor could ever trick his patients into having.
- Uncle Charlie: Well look at this carpet, I just vacuumed it. Jeez, you 75 kids with your 150 shoes on! Holy smokes, Dr. Jacobson, why couldn't you keep your hands outta your pants?
- Weekend Update Anchor: Well, Warren Beatty and Annette Bening recently exchanged vows at a small private ceremony. The wedding interrupted Warren's bachelor party, which had been going on since August 1959.