Sabrina the Teenage Witch (TV Series)

The Equalizer (1998)

Caroline Rhea: Hilda Spellman

Quotes 

• Hilda : Oh, by the way, Zelda and I are chaperoning the school dance Friday.

  Sabrina : What? Why don't you just hang a big "Nerd Girl" sign around my neck?

  Hilda : Okay.

  [She points and Sabrina gets her wish] 

  Sabrina : Nobody likes a house where you can't speak figuratively.

• Hilda : Okay, we're up to the Z's, and so far, every man we know is either married, busy or disgusting.

  Zelda Spellman : Several were all three.

• Hilda : I took Belgium once to help Napoleon. Big trouble.

  Zelda Spellman : Basically, you have to give things back by hand.

  Hilda : Which is how I came to participate in a little thing called Waterloo.

• Hilda : Oh, great. One more gentleman caller, and we can put on The Glass Menagerie.

• Hilda : Why did you bring him along?...

  Zelda Spellman : So we could use the car-pool lane.

• Hilda : Love is special, love is alive. Send me Cupid for 5.95. You look awful.

  Zelda Spellman : Hilda, it's his busy time of year.

  Cupid : Oh, that's not it. I was just left at the altar. My fiancée ran off with a policeman. She never could resist a man in clothes.

• Hilda : This will make you believe in love again. What can you say about a 25-year-old girl who died?

  Cupid : Good riddance.

• Zelda Spellman : So how goes it with diaper dan?

  Hilda : Well, it's more challenging than building the Panama Canal, but then, less malaria.