- Sabrina Spellman: Big deal. What does that bozo know anyway?
- Josh: That bozo spent twenty years at Life magazine and shot over fifty covers.
- Sabrina Spellman: So, who reads Life magazine? People only look at the...
- Josh: The pictures!
- Sabrina Spellman: Look, the point is, it takes years to develop a craft. I mean, look at my aunts Hilda and Zelda.
- Josh: Which craft did they develop?
- Sabrina Spellman: Witchcraft? Who said anything about witchcraft?
- Sabrina Spellman: Hey, Aunt Hilda, you know how you're always looking for new ways to bring in people to the coffeehouse?
- Hilda Spellman: You mean, like last week when I started that rumor that Brad Pitt had been spotted here?
- Sabrina Spellman: That was a rumor? I worked extra shifts!
- Hilda Spellman: Oh, there really is one born every minute.
- Mrs. Scott: [haughty pure-bred cat owner] You know, you might want to do something with your little alley cat. His coat does look a little dull.
- [causing Salem to hiss at her]
- Mrs. Scott: [to her cat] Mandy, what happened to your diamond collar?
- [as Salem scampers off to audition wearing jewel-encrusted choker]
- Josh: Hey, don't talk to me like that. You are a hundred dollars richer because of me.
- Hilda Spellman: A hundred dollars. I'm going to Prada.
- Salem Saberhagen: If only I had someone decent feeding me lines.
- Zelda Spellman: May I remind you that I'm the one the director complimented?
- Salem Saberhagen: May I remind you that your skirt was hiked up to your nostrils?
- Zelda Spellman: If that's how my generosity is going to be rewarded, you can just find yourself another quantum physicist to help you push kibble.
- [leaves]
- Salem Saberhagen: Zelda, don't go. This is my process. I'm a temperamental actor.
- [she doesn't listen]
- Salem Saberhagen: I have pictures of you and the Brothers Grimm.
- Zelda Spellman: [hastily returning] All right, let's take it from the top.