- Roxie King: [as Sabrina is putting up flyers] Hey, what's that for?
- Sabrina Spellman: Josh and I are throwing a singles party at the coffeehouse. I'm sure you think it's stupid.
- Roxie King: I haven't been on a date in five months.
- [grabs a flyer]
- Roxie King: I can live with stupid.
- Sabrina Spellman: [as Roxie goes off] Well, there's no motivation like desperation.
- Miles Goodman: Why should I pay $5 to get rejected when I do it so well for free?
- Sabrina Spellman: Well, for every girl who says no, you're that much closer to the one that will say yes. Dating is a numbers game!
- Miles Goodman: So, getting rejected by twenty girls in one night is a good thing?
- Sabrina Spellman: Yeah, for only five bucks, it's a bargain!
- Miles Goodman: My name is Miles. Thus far we've only known each other as roommates, but... I'm open to other avenues.
- Roxie King: Make a U-turn. This road is closed.
- [leaving him, complaining to Sabrina:]
- Roxie King: I didn't pay five bucks to get chatted up by Miles.
- Miles Goodman: We may only have a few seconds together before the next bell. I need you to sum up your entire being in four words. Go!
- Cute Girl: [flatly] Not interested in you.
- Miles Goodman: Four words on the dot.
- [calling out to the organizers:]
- Miles Goodman: Can I get a bell, please?
- Roxie King: You mean the relationship you don't have with the guy you're not dating?
- Sabrina Spellman: Yeah, I don't want that to end.
- Roxie King: The end of a relationship is always the most depressing part. But it's gotta be really depressing to end something that never got a chance to begin.
- Sabrina Spellman: All I know is that he should be the first one to call and apologize. He's the one who acted like a jerk when Brett stood you up.
- Roxie King: Is that what this is about? You're throwing away a great guy because of someone that never meant anything to me?
- Sabrina Spellman: It's the principle of the thing.
- Roxie King: If you're gonna date based on principle, your choices are the Pope or St. Francis of Assisi.
- Sabrina Spellman: So I've got options.
- Sabrina Spellman: [showing off new pair of pink high-heel sandals] These are the most comfortable shoes I've ever had.
- Zelda Spellman: And stylish.
- Hilda Spellman: Oh, cobbler?
- Salem Saberhagen: [at their beck and call] Yes, ma'am?
- Hilda Spellman: I'd like five more pairs. One in every color.
- Sabrina Spellman: Yes, and how are you with matching belts?
- Salem Saberhagen: I'll cobble whatever you want. I'm just glad to be home.
- Zelda Spellman: Hilda! I've just opened our Visa bill! How could you spend $3,000 on World War II memorabilia?
- Hilda Spellman: What are you talking about? You I'm a Boer War kind of gal.
- Zelda Spellman: Well, if these aren't *your* Visa charges and they aren't *my* Visa charges, then who's are they?
- [in the next room, Salem is heard on the phone speaking in Japanese and Zelda and Hilda investigate]
- Salem Saberhagen: [talking into a phone on a table] The name on the card is Zelda Spellman.
- [Salem sees Zelda and Hilda come into the room and continues speaking in Japanese, trying to make the call sound important]
- Zelda Spellman: [presses the cut-off button] Just what do you think you're doing?
- Salem Saberhagen: I know the kimono's a little gauche, but it's so dang silky.
- Zelda Spellman: [suspicious] We're talking about my *Credit Card*.
- Salem Saberhagen: Oh, that. Just making a little impulse buy: The future Mrs. Myoshi Saberhagen ships in two weeks!
- Hilda Spellman: [shocked] You bought a mail-order Bride? Dummy, what are you gonna do when a Japanese woman shows up and sees that her number one American husband is a *cat*?
- Salem Saberhagen: When she sees the engagement ring you bought her with your Discover Card, she won't care!
- [Salem laughs, jumps off the table and runs out of the room]
- Zelda Spellman: [to Hilda] Can you believe the nerve of that mangy little fur ball? Stealing from us and then flaunting it!
- [a large package envelope comes up in the toaster]
- Zelda Spellman: [walks over to the toaster] When was the last time actual *toast* came out of that thing?