- Lily Tomlin: Mr. Robinson, you know, a lot of people think of you as just a gangster...
- Edward G. Robinson: Hmm.
- Lily Tomlin: But I know that you have a magnificent art collection and you own a... an absolutely incredible portrait of yourself.
- Edward G. Robinson: Yeah... but I was framed, see?
- Edward G. Robinson: A funny thing happened to me on the way to Laugh-In, but... not too much funny has happened since I arrived.
- Dean Jones: People wonder where I got the name Dean Jones. I saw Dean Martin write it once on a hotel register.