Quotes
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[Lister is mocking a hologram who has just insulted the crew]
Lister : Lister to Red Dwarf, we have in our midst a complete smegpot. Brains in the anal region. Chin, absent presumed missing. Genitalia, small and inoffensive. Of no value or interest whatsoever.
Commander Binks : Binks to Enlightenment. Evidence of primitive humour. The human displays knowledge of satire and imitation. With patient tuition, could perhaps master simple tasks.
Lister : Lister to Red Dwarf. Displays evidence of spoiling for a rumble. Seems unable to grasp simple threats. With careful pummeling, could be sucking tomorrow's lunch through a straw.
Commander Binks : Binks to Enlightenment. The human seems to be under the delusion that he is somehow capable of bestowing physical violence to a hologram.
Lister : Lister to Red Dwarf. The intruder seems blissfully unaware that we have a fairly sturdy holowhip in the Munitions cabinet.
[Binks looks scared]
Lister : And unless he wants his derriere minced like burger meat, he'd better become history in the next two seconds flat.
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Rimmer : Those kind of films really irritate me. Just not realistic. There isn't a man in the universe who wouldn't have taken the job and to hell with the woman. Total baloney.
Lister : Rimmer, you said that about "King of Kings: The Story of Jesus".
Rimmer : Well it's true, a simple carpenter's boy who learns how to do magic tricks like that and *doesn't* go into show business? Do any of us believe that, even for a second?
