- Mushy: It's just a plain, little, old town.
- Wishbone: Garden of Eden is what it is. A few rocking chairs, and nothing to do but grow hair, and soak up the sun. Ah, this is a real paradise to me. One of these days I'm gonna grab me a cloud and hang on.
- Mushy: I still say it looks like a plain, little, old town.
- Sheriff Burr: Outlaws I can shoot. Lawbreakers I can jail. When it comes to Amy Claybank, all I can do is watch.
- Rowdy Yates: All right. Mr Favor's lost supplies, and the wagons, and all this equipment, the horses, and even the herd. But Wishbone? Mmph.
- Aloysius Claybank: Shame on you! Even a fuzz-faced old trail bum should know that when he speaks for a woman, it stays spoke 'til death do they part.
- Rowdy Yates: Needles and pins, needles and pins. When a man marries, his troubles begins. Wishbone used to say that every day like it was out of the Old Testament. I could figure this out with any other man on the drive. But Wishbone?
- Gil Favor: Yeah.
- Rowdy Yates: Didn't even invite us to his wedding.
- Gil Favor: Huh! Guess we're gonna have to invite ourselves, huh.
- Rowdy Yates: You heard what he said.
- Rowdy Yates: Yeah, I heard him but he forgot something. He gonna need somebody to stand up for him.
- Sheriff Burr: You show me a woman who can fill her footprints, I'll show you a woman with feathered wings and a golden halo and a solid brass heart.
- Rowdy Yates: If you feel this way about her, why haven't you put your Mrs in front of her Claybank?
- Amos Claybank: [about Favor and Yates who are riding into town] They sure don't look like gravediggers.
- Amos Claybank: Sure can't see what Sister Amy sees in him.
- Abraham Claybank: There's only one thing worse than a yelling bridegroom. That's a lying, yelling bridegroom.
- Wishbone: I'M NOT LYING AND I'M NOT YELLING! AND I'M NOT GONNA BE A BRIDEGROOM!
- Sheriff Burr: When they say jump, we ask how high. They say crawl and we just bellydown and start wriggling.
- Gil Favor: Sorry to interrupt your game, Sheriff.
- Sheriff Burr: Oh, there's one more thing about my gentlemen, they're punctual. If they said 30 minutes.
- Gil Favor: Yah. I know, they mean 30 minutes. Tell ya what, fella. You better get down on yer hands and knees 'cos you're gonna have to do some crawling, right soon.
- [Sheriff Burr, in his drunken state, recommences his game of darts, pictures of his three cousins as his targets, and has another tot off his jug to help his aim]