- Brian Kinney: You know, if you want to regain the agility and the strength in your hand, I suggest jerking off several times a day. It works like magic.
- Michael Novotny: This is dinner?
- Brian Kinney: It's just the essential elements of a healthy diet: Salt, saturated fat,alcohol.
- Michael Novotny: I've never eating again. My mom practical forced-fed me to eat the entire Liberty Diner menu.
- Brian Kinney: Well, who told you to eat it?
- Michael Novotny: Well, what I'm suppose to do?
- Brian Kinney: Say no.
- Michael Novotny: You know it makes her happy.
- Brian Kinney: There you have it, Ladies and Gentlemen, proof positive that making other people happy can cause nausea,severe cramps, even diarrhea.