- Jiminy Glick: I remember exactly where I was when I heard that Tommy Lee and Pam had split up. And you don't know who to believe in anymore. It's like when I just heard that Tyson had split up, that seemed sad too.
- Edie Falco: Tyson split up with who?
- Jiminy Glick: Ssssh! I've got more questions!
- Edie Falco: Sorry.
- Jiminy Glick: [long pause as Jiminy stares at her] If you keep interrupting me, when I have more questions, how can I possibly double task? I can't double task. You expect too much from me, girl!
- [another long pause]
- Jiminy Glick: I don't mean to get heavy, and I know you're my guest, but that's wrong. And I want you to talk to your psychic or shrink or to your God, God forbid you should go to church, and question why would interrupt me. Thank you very much.
- Jiminy Glick: So the Italian people... how come they pretend not to be killers so much?
- Edie Falco: [confused] "How come they pretend not to be killers... so much? How come they pretend not to be killers so much?"
- Jiminy Glick: Any thoughts?
- Edie Falco: No.
- Jiminy Glick: Oh, you have an Aunt Carmella!
- Edie Falco: I do.
- Jiminy Glick: Oh, that's wonderful. I had an Aunt Carmella too.
- Edie Falco: You really do?
- Jiminy Glick: Yes.
- Edie Falco: Are you Italian?
- Jiminy Glick: No. And nor was she.
- Edie Falco: Oh, okay.
- Jiminy Glick: We just called her Carmella 'cause she always smelled of garlic.
- Jiminy Glick: Your real name is Tim Allen Dick.
- Tim Allen: Yes.
- Jiminy Glick: And I always thought that was just, y'know, someone describing you. But that's your actual last name, is it not?
- Tim Allen: Yes, Jiminy, it is.
- Jiminy Glick: And why did you change it, Tim Allen?
- Tim Allen: Well, because you can't go on TV as comedian Tim Dick. Then people, the first time I did that, television show, they said, why not just call it Tim Penis? I mean, if you're gonna go that way.
- Jiminy Glick: Tim Penis, or, or Tim Wiener, or something like that.
- Jiminy Glick: This has been lots of fun, I've been sittin' with, uh, Tim Allen, Dick. And, and he's been so much...
- Tim Allen: When you put a pause in there like that, people get the idea that you just called me a dick, you didn't...
- Jiminy Glick: No no, I wouldn't call ya- you're Tim Allen... DICK.
- [laughs]