- Vicar's Wife: I lost my virginity to a Barry White song.
- Roy Mallard: Which one?
- Vicar's Wife: You only get one.
- Vicar's Wife: So they look at you differently, as if to say "Your husband's a really good listener".
- Roy Mallard: Do you seriously believe in the Miracle of the Good Samaritan?
- Andrew Treverton: Well that wasn't a miracle. All he did was cross the road.
- Vicar's Wife: It's like being Married to the Mob but in reverse.
- Secretary: And then I think who has he got to go home to and talk about his problems?
- Roy Mallard: Perhaps his wi...
- Secretary: No one! And then I feel really sad.
- Vicar's Wife: They look at me like "You must be a good person", I mean, what if I don't want to be good?