Peep Show (TV Series)

On the Pull (2003)

David Mitchell: Mark Corrigan

Photos 

Quotes 

• Mark Corrigan : [starting to feel stoned]  What if I lose it? I'm not going to do a poo, am I, Jez?

• Jeremy Usborne : Listen, this is the perfect time to get back in the game, you know? Two guys, together, out, looking for... it.

  Mark Corrigan : No, thank you. I mean, how much pain can I experience sitting at home with a spaghetti carbonara and Das Boot?

  Jeremy Usborne : Look, it's a 8 o'clock on a Friday night, most people don't do their shopping right now, most people are out right now, yeah?

  Mark Corrigan : That's right, no queues. So who exactly is winning, eh?

• Valerie : Hey, you've got Findus Crispy Pancakes, I love them! They're just so... disgusting, aren't they?

  Mark Corrigan : Er, yeah.

  Valerie : So, my sister, who's a smackhead, I ended up there for Christmas Dinner and we had turkey Findus Crispy Pancakes. That was Christmas Dinner. I wanted to kill myself!

  Mark Corrigan : That would be the natural reaction.

• Valerie : My brother is suck a dickhead. I wish he was dead.

  Mark Corrigan : Oh, that's a bit much, just pretend you need his bone marrow. Apparentely that's agony.

• Valerie : Jesus! What was all that about?

  Mark Corrigan : I guess she just really likes Sledgehammer.

  Valerie : I mean, that is a shit song, right?

  Mark Corrigan : Yeah.

  [voiceover] 

  Mark Corrigan : Forgive me, Peter.

  [to Valerie] 

  Mark Corrigan : I mean, it's so outdated.

  Valerie : Exactly! And suddenly I'm up in front of the middle-aged court for crimes against being an old fucker!

  Mark Corrigan : Right, I mean, what's her problem? I've never heard of Level 42 either.

  [voiceover] 

  Mark Corrigan : Guys, I'm so sorry.

• Jeff Heaney : So, Valerie, you still at school, or what?

  Mark Corrigan : She's at college, actually.

  Valerie : Sixth-Form College.

  Mark Corrigan : Yeah, that's still college.

  Jeff Heaney : Right. So, what's your favourite subject, then?

  Sophie Chapman : I'm sure Valerie doesn't want to talk about subjects, she's bowling.

  Jeff Heaney : Yeah, sure, sure, course, yeah. So, who do you think's best in S-Club, then?

  Valerie : Oh, erm... I'm not really into them, but I hear they have a big gay following.

  [She does the blow-job gesture to Mark and goes to bowl. Sophie smiles at Mark, Jeff looks bemused] 

  Mark Corrigan : [voiceover]  For the worst thing that could possibly happen, this is actually going extremely well.

• Valerie : So, who exactly are you trying to bone tonight?

  Mark Corrigan : Oh, I'm not in the game. If I can get my shopping home intact, I'll be happy.

  Valerie : Just like, be honest about it. I mean, let's line up two naked rows, best-looking people can pick the best-looking people, the dregs can be left with the dregs and we can all go home early and get it over with.

  Mark Corrigan : That, to me, is actually a very attractive system you're proposing.

• Mark Corrigan : So, old seat-sniffer didn't sniff any of the seats or anything, did he?

  Sophie Chapman : That's a joke, Mark, a rumour that I don't think is appropriate for you to... Jeff's a nice guy.

• Mark Corrigan : [voiceover]  Life's all pain. Pain, rejection and gloom. Why do we even pretend there's anything but a yawning blankness at the heart of...

  [he picks a can of tomatoes off the shelf] 

  Mark Corrigan : Hey, 33% extra free. I am doing excellent shopping. My depressed state of mind means being even more frugal than normal.

• [Mark is nosing around in someone else's bathroom cabinet, looking at ointments and pills] 

  Mark Corrigan : [voiceover]  Everyone at this party isn't as young, fit and single as they're making out. Yep, let's face it, we're all falling apart piece by piece. Doesn't matter if you're single or in a couple - you, are, going, to, die.

• Mark Corrigan : [putting back the bottle of olive oil Jez has picked off the shelf]  Oh, oh, no, no, mate, this stuff's 78 pence a 100 milliliters.

  Jeremy Usborne : Well, yeah. I mean, it's first pressing. Or do you want to wait til everyone else has had their fun with the olives? Fourth pressing. Yeah, like that's gonna be a party in your mouth, I don't think!

• Jeremy Usborne : [picking up a box of tissues from Mark's shopping trolley]  Look at us, people are going to think we spend the whole time wanking!

  Mark Corrigan : Don't be ridiculous. They're homey. They're for wiping up mess.

  Jeremy Usborne : Yeah, man mess. Why do you think they're called Man-Size?

  Mark Corrigan : They're for men. Men's noses. Big manly snot.

• Valerie : [while bowling]  Hey, gutter boy! You are allowed to hit the pins, you know!

  Mark Corrigan : You are?

  Valerie : Yeah. In some bowling alleys, it's actually encouraged.

  Mark Corrigan : Oh, right! I didn't want to disturb them.

  Valerie : Well, that's very kind of you, you're quite the gentleman.