- [first lines]
- Jack Aylesbury: [watching TV] Oh, pass it up, for Christ's sake! Look at him. We're in for a bloody sight-seeing tour of Milan now. Get rid of it, man!
- [the doorbell rings]
- Pat Aylesbury: Who's that, for goodness sake?
- [leaves the room]
- Jack Aylesbury: Oh, give me a break! Why don't you just gift-wrap the ball and tie a ribbon on it for him?
- Sales Assistant: We can have it delivered to you first thing Monday morning.
- Margaret Meldrew: Not until then?
- Sales Assistant: That all right for you?
- Margaret Meldrew: All right? I have just spent the most unutterably miserable week of my entire life coping with a husband deprived of his television set. If I have to prolong that agony for another hour, let alone another weekend, I may just do something very regrettable with a pair of razor-tipped salad tongs.
- [last lines]
- Sales Assistant: You're in luck, Mrs Meldrew. We can have your new television set with you Saturday afternoon at three.
- Margaret Meldrew: No, that's all right. Monday morning will be fine.