- Barbara Cooper: Bob, uh, I date Cliff Randall a lot, y'know.
- Bob Morton: I know. I don't mind. It's just a stage you're going through. But when it comes down to a permanent relationship, I'm a lot better for you than Cliff Randall.
- Barbara Cooper: Uh, why?
- Bob Morton: Well, remember you once said you were gonna stay a
- [he covers his mouth as he says the word 'virgin']
- Bob Morton: until you were married?
- Barbara Cooper: So?
- Bob Morton: So, with me you're sure.
- Bob Morton: [realizing that Barbara may not be interested in him] What a dope, to think she could go for me.
- Julie Cooper: Bob, you could have lots of girls.
- Ann Romano: Right. You're handsome, charming, appealing...
- Bob Morton: Appealing and charming, maybe, but not handsome... My sister says when I was born, instead of cigars, my father handed out blindfolds.