- Dwight Schrute: [noticing the women having a meeting] That's a terrible idea.
- Jim Halpert: What is?
- Dwight Schrute: Them in there all together. If they stay in there too long, they're gonna get on the same cycle. Wreak havoc on our plumbing.
- Michael Scott: Now, you may look around and see two groups here. White collar, blue collar. But I don't see it that way. And you know why not? Because I am collar-blind.
- Jan Levinson-Gould: Sports metaphors are one of the ways women feel left out of the language of the office. Now, I know this might sound silly, but many women ask to go over it, so, "fumble" means...
- Phyllis: Mistake.
- Meredith: Slip.
- Jan Levinson-Gould: Right. "Par for the course" is a golf term. It means "right on track." "Below par" means "worse." Wait. That should mean better. That doesn't make sense.
- Kelly Kapoor: What about "second base"? Like, if Michael said he got to second base with you, does that mean you, like, closed a deal?
- Jan Levinson-Gould: Excuse me?
- Kelly Kapoor: I mean, that's a baseball term, right?
- Jan Levinson-Gould: I don't know what Michael was talking about. I don't know.
- [Kelly turns to the camera and winks]
- Michael Scott: Pizza. Great equalizer. Rich people love pizza. Poor people love pizza. White people love pizza. Black people love pizza. Do black people like pizza?
- Roy: I hate it when girls insist on taking them out to new restaurants every weekend night, and then they're like, "When are we gonna go on a date-date?"
- Dwight Schrute: Yeah, and then they make you drive them to church the next morning. Like, gas ain't free.
- Angela: I'm not gaining anything from this seminar. I'm a professional woman, the head of Accounting. I'm in the healthiest relationship of my life. I just think it's insulting that Jan thinks we need this. And apparently, judging from her outfit, Jan aspires to be a whore.
- Pam Beesley: What? You have something you want to say?
- Jim Halpert: You gotta take a chance on something, sometime, Pam. I mean, do you want to be a receptionist here, always?
- Pam Beesley: [defensively] Oh, excuse me, I'm fine with my choices.
- Jim Halpert: You are?
- Pam Beesley: Yeah.
- Meredith: In five years, I'd like to be five years sober.
- Jan Levinson-Gould: That is an excellent goal.
- Meredith: Four and a half.
- Dwight Schrute: Michael wants us to bond, so we need topics for conversation.
- Jim Halpert: Ponies.
- Dwight Schrute: No.
- Ryan Howard: How about rainbows?
- Dwight Schrute: No.
- Jim Halpert: Flowers?
- Dwight Schrute: No!
- Ryan Howard: Makeup?
- Michael Scott: I think this is gonna work out great. Because managing the warehouse is a very important part of my job, and I haven't been there in months.
- [Michael unbuttons his shirt to his navel and exposes his thick chest hair]
- Michael Scott: What is our beef, as human men?
- Lonny: You know, that's a good question, Hasselhoff.
- Kevin: I bet Roy heard about you liking Pam. I bet he'll try to beat you up.
- Jim Halpert: Thanks for the heads-up, Kev.
- Kevin: I got your back, if he does. But try to stay out of it.
- Pam Beesley: Dreams are just... that. They're dreams. They help get you through the day, like the thing about the terrace. It's nice, but... uhm. I know, it's just a thing I read in this book when I was twelve. The girl in the book has a terrace that's outside of her bedroom, and she planted flowers on it, and I just loved that. It just kind of always stuck with me. It's impractical, I'm not gonna try to get a house like that. Uhm, they don't even make houses like that in Scranton. So, I'm never gonna...
- [Starts to cry]
- Pam Beesley: .
- Michael Scott: [Enters the office and throws his coat at Pam] Coat!
- Pam Beesley: [Later, at the conference room] Michael just rented The Devil Wears Prada. He has his Netflix sent here to the office and he watches them in pieces when things are slow.
- Michael Scott: [Yelling from his office] Steak! Where's my steak?
- Pam Beesley: [At the conference room] He's a big Meryl Streep fan, so I shouldn't be surprised that he's identified with her character.
- Michael Scott: Get me Armani.
- Pam Beesley: A suit?
- Michael Scott: On the phone.
- Pam Beesley: Like the main company number? Cause I'm gonna have to call from information.
- Michael Scott: Where's Armani? He's on the phone. Too slow. You're not going to Paris. I'm so much better than you
- [Starts to laugh]
- Michael Scott: .
- Michael Scott: [Another day, he enters the office, embarassed] I owe you an apology.
- Pam Beesley: You finished the movie.
- Michael Scott: Yeah, it was awesome, big surprise ending. I won't ruin it for you.
- Pam Beesley: No, go ahead.
- Michael Scott: Meryl Streep is the bad guy, you never see it coming. Anyway, if I was mean in any way to you, I'm sorry
- [Pam nods]
- Michael Scott: I just want what's best for you, Manooshka.
- Pam Beesley: [Mouthing at the camera, trying to figure it out] Manooshka?
- [Later, at the conference room]
- Pam Beesley: Macushla! He's watching Million Dollar Baby
- [Long pause]
- Pam Beesley: He's gonna try to kill me.