- Jack Trenton: Now, how many dependants do you wish to declare? I claim eleven. That's more than the Waltons! Course, they prob'ly don't even pay taxes...
- Sister Mary Alma: Who's been talking behind my back? The road to Hell is paved with wagging tongues!
- Nurse Julie Milbury: Yeah, Luke, I've never seen you scared of anything.
- Luke Fitzgerald: I'm not. Except for being struck by lightning -- and I wasn't even scared of that the first two times.
- Jack Trenton: Oh, but I've made some bad investments too. Diet Scotch. What was I thinking? Drunk people don't care if they're fat!
- Luke Fitzgerald: What the hell am I doing?
- Sister Mary Alma: You're cursing, that's what you're doing. The road to Hell is paved with profanity users!
- Luke Fitzgerald: You know, your road to Hell's gotta be about the best paved road there is!