- Buddy: [about Harry's mother] Harry, she went into a psychiatric institution after she left you. That's where we met.
- Judge Harold T. "Harry" Stone: I'm gonna go out on a limb here... you weren't on the staff, were you?
- [Buddy grins and shakes his head]
- Buddy: But I'm feeling much better now.
- [Christine can't understand why Harry isn't upset that his mother is dead]
- Christine Sullivan: Sir, your mother is dead. There's no shame in showing your grief.
- Judge Harold T. "Harry" Stone: So what kind of grief am I supposed to show for a woman who dumps a five-year-old boy the way another woman dumps her garbage?
- Christine Sullivan: Still, I can't believe you're capable of not feeling any loss.
- Judge Harold T. "Harry" Stone: I am capable of feeling loss. When Selma died, I felt loss. When Florence died, I felt loss. Because I cared very much for them and they cared for me. If I need comfort and compassion they were there. If I just needed a friend to talk to, they were there. But when I needed a mother, no one was there.
- Buddy: Here's a picture of your mother and me at Niagara Falls.
- Judge Harold T. "Harry" Stone: [looking] Where are you?
- Buddy: In the barrel.
- [Harry looks at him]
- Buddy: But I'm feeling much better now.
- Dan Fielding: [heard that Harry's mother is deceased. Harry's chair is facing away] Sir, I'm so very sorry. You have my deepest condolences.
- [Harry turns his chair around, revealing he's wearing a ridiculous mask]
- Dan Fielding: Obviously, you're taking it very well.
- Buddy: [saying good-bye to Harry] I guess I'll see you around, Harry.
- Judge Harry T. Stone: Anytime, Buddy. And I mean that. Anytime.
- Buddy: How about tomorrow?
- Judge Harry T. Stone: [having had enough Buddy for one day] No, not tomorrow. I'll call.
- Judge Harry T. Stone: [the staff enter Harry's chambers and, hearing him yelling into the phone, believe he's yelling at his mother] Perhaps it would just be the best thing for both of us if I hang up the phone right now!
- [Harry calms down]
- Judge Harry T. Stone: You're right. You're right. I'm sorry. Thank you, operator, I'll dial direct.
- Judge Harry T. Stone: [Harry understands how honest Buddy has been about his mother leaving him] Buddy I never did know her. But I'm beginning to miss her.
- Dan Fielding: [enters Harry's office and sees Buddy] Harry I - oh, I'm sorry. You're busy massaging a man in a cheap suit.
- Buddy: [realizing something about Harry] You have your mother's compassion. But you're so different. I wonder what would have happened if she had raised you.
- Buddy: I was married to your mother.
- Judge Harry T. Stone: Oh. Then that would make us...
- Buddy: Nothing.
- Buddy: [about Harry and his mother] I guess you weren't that close.
- Judge Harry T. Stone: Not close? I got a letter from her just today. It was sent fifteen years ago.
- Buddy: I told her special delivery was no faster than the regular service.
- Buddy: [Harry wakes from a nap to find he's been lying on Buddy's knee. Buddy just smiles at him] I didn't want to disturb you.
- Judge Harry T. Stone: You did a real good job.
- Buddy: [smiling] You're a fine-looking young man.
- Judge Harry T. Stone: Thank you very much.
- Judge Harry T. Stone: [long pause] Wanna know who the hell I am?
- Bull Shannon: This is Rosalind Russell.
- Dan Fielding: Hello! I'm Mr. Ed!
- Judge Harry T. Stone: Rosalind Russell, that's a neat name.
- Roz Russell: My mother was a show-business freak.
- Judge Harry T. Stone: Ah.
- Roz Russell: I do consider myself more fortunate than my sister, Zsa Zsa.
- Christine Sullivan: Oh, the poor thing.
- Roz Russell: That's what my brother says.
- Judge Harry T. Stone: Your brother...?
- Roz Russell: Slappy.
- [a few minutes later, when Harry receives his mother's letter]
- Bull Shannon: Harry's mother left him when he was a child. He hasn't seen her in thirty years.
- Roz Russell: My brother hasn't seen my mother in thirty years.
- Bull Shannon: Your brother...?
- Roz Russell: Topo Gigio.
- Morry: [the ventriloquist of Mike the Dummy. Mike is 'speaking'] The jerk just can't get it through his head, it's over!
- Court Clerk MacIntosh 'Mac' Robinson: What's over?
- Morry: [Mike] Us. The team. I'm breaking up the act!
- Court Clerk MacIntosh 'Mac' Robinson: Why're you breaking up the act?
- Morry: [Mike] Isn't it obvious? Look at his lips! I've seen less movement on a roller coaster.
- Judge Harry T. Stone: [alarmed by Buddy's behavior] Buddy, did I happen to warn you that I am armed?
- Buddy: No, you got it exactly right! "Why would a woman in her right mind..." do something like that?
- Judge Harry T. Stone: [lifting a stapler] This is no ordinary stapler...
- Buddy: Answer: she *wasn't* in her right mind!
- Judge Harry T. Stone: [surprised, lowers the stapler] You're saying she was sick?
- Buddy: For a time. After a while, she got better.
- Morry: Did Mike come through here?
- Judge Harry T. Stone: [Looking confused] Mike? The dummy?
- Morry: Yeah. We went up on the roof to talk things out and he just stormed off.
- Judge Harry T. Stone: Stormed off? As in a departure of some sort?
- Morry: Yeah. I've been looking for him everywhere but...
- Voice of Mike: YO!
- [Mike is on the window ledge]
- Voice of Mike: Live with this Morry!
- [Falls off the ledge]
- Morry: *OH MY GOD!* *MIKE!*
- Judge Harry T. Stone: Morry. You go... I'll call a tree surgeon.
- Dennis: [Christine explained to Dan that Harry wants to be left alone for a bit. Dennis Small, a ventriloquist without a dummy, has been refusing to move his lips. He tries to be polite to Christine] You sound upset. Is there anything I can do?
- Dan Fielding: Yeah. Why don't you throw your voice into the elevator shaft and follow it?