- [Harry is unsettled when the defendant turns out to be a bully from his childhood]
- Terry Benoon: You got me expelled!
- Judge Harry T. Stone: Technically, Terry, it was you riding a Schwinn over my neck that got you expelled.
- Nostradamus 'Bull' Shannon: [to Harry] I'm not leaving, sir. I consider it my bailiff's duty to protect you. Much like the nose hairs protect the mucus membrane from the staphylococci.
- Court Clerk MacIntosh 'Mac' Robinson: [Dan teased Harry about his old school bully] Like you don't get scared when you hear, "I think that's my husband at the door."
- Dan Fielding: [naturally flinches] What?