Night Court (TV Series)
Harry on Trial (1984)
Jason Bernard: Judge Robert T. Willard
Quotes
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Judge Martin A. Landis : Miss Bouvier, please have a seat.
Harry Stone : NO!
Judge Martin A. Landis : Did he say "no"?
Harry Stone : [to Willard] You have no right to pry into my private life or hers.
[to Landis]
Harry Stone : None of this has anything to do with my competency on the bench.
Judge Martin A. Landis : I think we should let a court decide that, Judge Stone.
Judge Robert Willard : Ah, you ARE the court sir.
Judge Martin A. Landis : Hey, that's convenient, isn't it.
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Judge Martin A. Landis : Judge Stone, will you be represented by counsel?
Judge Harry T. Stone : I will be representing myself, Your Honor.
Judge Martin A. Landis : "He who represents himself has a fool for a client." Who said that?
Judge Robert Willard : Oliver Wendell Holmes.
Judge Martin A. Landis : Who cares?
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Judge Robert Willard : [at Harry's Judicial Review] Excuse me, Judge Landis. We're ready to begin.
Judge Martin A. Landis : [appears to be reviewing documentation] Just a moment.
Judge Martin A. Landis : [shows a "Highlights" magazine to Judge Willard] Can you find the hippo in this picture?
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Judge Robert Willard : On July 12th of this year, didn't the defendant, claiming quote, "This courtroom ain't big enough for the two of us," unquote, squirt you in the face with a water pistol in open court?
Asst. D.A. Dan Fielding : That date again?
Judge Robert Willard : Just answer the question.
Asst. D.A. Dan Fielding : Well yes he did, but it was an accident. He was aiming for my briefcase.
[Judge Landis laughs]
Judge Martin A. Landis : [Dan laughs. Then the judge orders-] Shut up.
Asst. D.A. Dan Fielding : Right.