- Gomez Addams: I know you're a little nervous, old boy. Wedding night jitters are to be expected. In fact, encouraged.
- Uncle Fester: Well, yoy and morticia seem so happy. What's your secret?
- Gomez Addams: Never go to bed angry... or on fire.
- Ginger: So... tell me about this... house. Eh, does it have any... say, balconies, tunnels, secret hiding places?
- Morticia Addams: Of course.
- Gomez Addams: In fact, you could get lost in here.
- Morticia Addams: Some of our guests still are.
- Morticia Addams: I do so hope this works out for the poor dear...
- Gomez Addams: Look at it this way: either he'll live happily ever after, or it'll all blow up in his face. Either way, I don't see a down side.
- Uncle Fester: That's not the only problem. I told her I'm a triathlete.
- Gomez Addams: But you are. You tried to be an athlete, you just failed.
- Ginger: Oh, after all this time e-mailing, at last we meet.
- Uncle Fester: Seems like I've known you forever. How long have we been writing?
- Ginger: Four days, but if felt like five.
- Uncle Fester: I have that effect on women.